Thursday, January 27, 2005

Spoiling Birthmoms and Ruining Babies

One of the most disturbing things we've learned about the adoption process is the foolishness of many birthmothers. Many of the babies up for adoption now aren't open to us because the birthmothers have insisted they will only consider adoptive families with requirements like:

- Loves Backpacking
- Doesn't live in a city
- Doesn't have any other children (is infertile)
- Is an inter-racial couple
- Has that "Ken and Barbie" look

Except for the last item in the list, these are all birthmother-placed conditions on adoptions we heard about this week. The adoption agencies enforce these preferences, most likely out of concern that the birthmother may abort.

This is sad, but I become (justifiably) enraged when I hear the rest of the story. I have been appalled at how many of the birthmothers "care" for their babies during pregnancy. You would be dismayed to hear how many birthmothers, under the care of an adoption agency, are daily taking crack hits, drinking heavily, smoking marijuana, refusing prenatal care because the doctors make them "feel bad", etc, etc. They are maiming their own children all the while expecting a "Ken and Barbie" family to show up and care for their retarded, handicapped child. When I read descriptions of the suffering of these poor children, I long for God's justice!


Heather said...

It is very frustrating! Our birthmom did cocaine at some point close to Seth's delivery because he was born cocaine positive. URGH!
Our agency has a birthmom due next month that they were having a hard time finding a home for the baby because she had used crystal-meth for the first 5 months and she only wanted a home where there were no other children.
I am praying that you will have wisdom concerning your last post.

Tim said...

Thank you for praying.