It's the Very Esteemed Bailey to you! (or should it be Apostle of Humility?)

I heard about the Universal Life Church yesterday. They've ordained over 20 million "ministers" since 1959. Ordination is free and anyone can be ordained no matter what you believe or even if you believe nothing. This sounds like a silly, almost humorous, idea, so where's the harm? Sadly, there are many needy people who respect and are willing to follow someone with these credentials not knowing that it's easier to be ordained in the Universal Life Church than to get a prize from a box of Cracker Jacks. This is especially a problem among inmates.

Here are the titles currently "available":
Abbe , Abbess, Abbot, Ananda, Angel, Apostle of Humility, Apostolic Scribe, Arch Deacon, Arch Priest, Archbishop, Arch cardinal, Ascetic Gnostic, Bible Historian, Bishop, Brahman, Brother, Canon, Cantor, Cardinal, Channel, Chaplain, Colonel, Cure', Deacon, Dervish, Directress, Disciple, Druid, Elder, Emissary, Evangelist, Faith Healer, Father, Field Missionary, Flying Missionary, Free Thinker, Friar, Goddess, Guru, Hadji, Healing Minister, High Priest, High Priestess, Imam, Lama, Lay Sister, Magus, Martyr, Messenger, Matriarch, Metropolitan, Minister of Music, Minister of Peace, Missionary, Missionary Doctor , Missionary Healer, Missionary of Music, Missionary Priest, Monk, Monsignor, Most Reverend, Christian Mother Superior, Mystical Philosopher, Orthodox Monk, Parochial Educator, Pastor General, Pastoral Counselor, Patriarch, Peace Counselor, Preacher, Preceptor, Priest, Priestess, Prophet, Psychic Healer, Rabbi, Rector, Religious Preacher, Revelator, Reverend, Reverend Father, Reverend Mother, Right Reverend, Saintly Healer, Scribe, Seer, Shaman, Sister, Soul Therapist, Spiritual Counselor, Spiritual Healer, Spiritual Warrior, Starets, Swami, Teller, Thanatologist, The Very Esteemed, Universal Rabbi, Universal Philosopher of Absolute Reality, Universal Religious Philosopher, Vicar, Wizard.