Little brother gets married

Grace and I enjoyed a brief visit back to my homestate, South Carolina, to attend my brother's wedding. Being a typical male, I didn't take any pictures of the bride and groom together.

Scout trip #1

Eli joined the Cub Scouts and has enjoyed it immensely. We had our first Scout campout recently and we crammed a lot into a short amount of time: fishing, swimming, hiking, whittling, astronomy, and all the fun that goes with camping out (S'mores, stories, songs, tents, etc).

We camped at Cochiti Lake which worked out well. The star field at night was amazing and we watched shooting stars and satellites fly over. Eli passed the cub scout swim test in the lake which was more difficult than I expected. We hiked our favorite spot--tent rocks--without losing any cub scouts over the ridge or in the slot canyon. It was a great and wearying time.

Family Preparations for the Lord's Day

This will be my last post on family worship for a while, and in it I'd like to give some thoughts on how to prepare as a family for the Lord's Day.

Let's start with the goal. As a family we should look forward to going to the Lord's house. Each of us should arrive at the worship service primed and longing to express our adoration of Him. Two problems to fight against: going to worship "spiritually empty" or unready to worship, and secondly just going through the motions during worship (which is not worship at all). Here are some ways to combat both those problems.

Starting as soon as possible in the week get the songs and Scriptures for the coming Lord's Day. Sing the songs as a family. Then read the words of the songs and meditate on them. Find the gems in them before Sunday worship! Know these songs so well so that when you sing them together on Sunday you are ready to exult God with them. As far as possible memorize the whole song so you can sing from your heart more freely.

Read the Scripture as a family before the service pointing out the key words of the passage and assigning themes for each child to listen for and report on after worship. If possible memorize the Scripture passage that will be preached on.

Plan ahead of time logistically. Set out clothes and Bibles the night before. Have the Sunday meals ready on Saturday so that there is less household work to do on the Sabbath (we order out on Saturday evening and get enough for Sunday, too). Get up early enough so that you have time to prepare yourself for worship physically and spiritually. Listen to God-glorifying music that stokes your affections as you drive to worship, etc.

I hope these ideas will help you call the Sabbath a delight.

Warning: Talking to us is likely to result in a baby

We meet lots of folks that want to talk about adoption. For all sorts of reasons very few will actually adopt some day, but that's fine, we still enjoy telling our adoption stories.

Last month we met some neighbors on-base who were eager to talk adoption with us. They were serious about adopting and had finished their homestudy months ago. However, they've had no calls about any situations which discouraged them because they're due to move out of the state next year. This would cause them to re-do part or all of their homestudy once they arrived in their new state--kind of like starting over.

They were intrigued by how fast we've been able to adopt and wanted to know how it can be done. We talked about transracial adoptions and the gospel with them and shared our adoption network contacts. They went home to think about all this. Yesterday they called to say that they decided to use our contacts and were swiftly presented with 5 situations. The first birthmother that looked at their portfolio chose them and now they're expecting to add a baby to their family in April!

If you're interested in learning how the gospel encourages transracial adoptions, this excellent, brief, and new interview is a great place to start. Of course, you can always just talk to us...

Trouble reports

The courts of justice and grace were busy today in our household with all kinds of domestic cases. Since the older two kiddos can write pretty well now, in an effort to discourage poor behavior we started making them write out what they did wrong and what they will do differently for each time they cause serious trouble. When I get home from work I review these for neatness and can talk about the problems with the children. Here's the first Trouble Report I received. It's a keeper.

Serve the Lord with gladness

One other element of family worship to keep in mind is the importance of joy. Is Bible reading drudgery? Is catechism and Scripture memory no more encouraging than making out a grocery list?

Surprisingly, some parents have the capacity to keep doing family worship for years without the least bit of joy. They're usually doing it to impress others in the church. I'm know because I think I'm one of them. I remember the sudden and painful realization that my leading of family worship was absent of joy when I visited another family whose father radiated joy when he spoke to his children about Jesus and the gospel. He made grace sound amazing, Christ sound great, and the Bible a dear gift. I found out later the verse he has in mind as he leads his family in worship is "Serve the Lord with gladness", from Psalm 100 I believe.

Not only will children detect a parent's hypocrisy in leading family worship without sincerity, but it is also dangerous to their salvation. They are likely to dismiss the faith as something that doesn't satisfy, as just one more thing their parents are doing to get them to behave. So, as we lead our families, let us remember to serve the Lord with gladness!

Our third reader

We had one of those special homeschooling moments today. Kristin was working with Isaiah on his phonics. He was doing well blending his letter sounds and for the first time he read a word that he didn't already know by sight! He's such an eager learner and is very motivated to become a reader. What a joy it is to teach your children such a skill as reading!

Lest you think that homeschooling is full of epiphanies like this, let me tell you this. While Isaiah was learning to read, Faith was in the backyard learning that dumping a bottle of bubble juice into the air conditioner is a great way to make a ton of bubbles.

Beyond skinned knees and loose teeth

A third element of Bailey family worship that I wanted to write on is our time of prayer.

Little kids' prayer requests naturally gravitate towards personal, physical needs: skinned knees and loose teeth, etc. There's nothing wrong with that I suppose, but as parents we want to see our children grow up into mature Christians. So it's good if we can enlarge the horizons for prayer beyond themselves, especially beyond their external wants.

For our times of family worship we have daily and weekly prayer items. Daily items include what we read in the Bible that day, a family from church, one member of the Bailey family, one extended family member, one missionary we support, and special requests/needs from others. Once per week we pray for one country of the world using Operation World (a great missions resource).

I have gone back and forth on having the children pray for some of these items. I think it's best to do it, but it can be a little hard to work out.

Good medicine

When times get tough, there's nothing quite like a baby's smile to lift your spirits

Eternity in our children's hearts

This is the second in a series on Bailey family worship through the years.

Last time I touched some on memory work and young children; I'd like to continue on that theme.

We have always mixed catechism and Scripture as both are important for memorization. Catechism gives the big picture summary of revelation (ex: What is God?, What happens when we die?, etc) where Scripture memory provides the actual revelation to them.

Over time we have developed a system of short-term and long-term memory work which we go through each night in family worship and some on Saturdays. The short-term work consists of weekly Bible verses that we all learn (parents set the example!). On Saturday mornings the children recite that week's verse to me individually.

The long-term memory work consists of hymns, creeds/catechism, and Scripture. Over time each child memorizes a couple dozen hymns/psalms (one stanza usually) and we rotate through a couple of these each evening in family worship. Then, depending on which day of the week it is, we also recite together truths that we want our children to always know throughout their life:
Sunday: Psalm 23
Monday: Psalm 121
Tuesday: The Apostles' Creed
Wednesday: 1 Cor 13:4-7
Thursday: 10 commandments
Friday: The Lord's Prayer
Saturday: Heidelberg Catechism Q&A #1

I struggle to find time to keep fresh on the Shorter Catechism work, but most Saturdays I have the children recite all they know to me and we also review a few questions every evening during family worship. One controversial decision I've made is to pay them for their memory work (an idea supported by American puritan Cotton Mather). I pay $1 for each new answer recited from the shorter catechism (word perfect) and $0.25 for each review question answered correctly.

Our belief in all this is that we're laying a foundation in their lives--not with hay that will rot away over time, but with that which will last into eternity.

Books, bathtubs, catechisms, and chairs

This is the start of a new series of posts on how we developed a family worship practice with our children; I plan to start from the very early years and work my way through chronologically. I had planned to do this in Sunday School during our study of the classic book Thoughts on Family Worship, but I don't think we'll get back to that book for a while so I'll give my own thoughts here instead. Also, I don't plan to spend time on the why of family worship; for that, see the book I just mentioned (or Ps 78, Eph 6:1-3, etc).

My earliest memories discipling our children involve books, bathtubs, catechisms, and chairs. I'll take them in that order. Among our favorite books for very young children are The Bible in Pictures for Little Eyes, and the Read-Aloud Bible Stories by Lindvall. The second book is good at not showing images of Christ (the first does, I believe). Kristin may remind me of others and if so I'll add them in the comments section. Also, Kristin has been effective in teaching our children when they're little to sit still and fold their hands when being read to. This has paid dividends in corporate worship.

I'll take the next two together. Bathtubs are a great place for teaching and reviewing memory work with a child (a captive audience). We started with the First Catechism and some basic memory verses. Actually I abbreviate some of the answers in that catechism so that even a 2 year old can show progress. Faith can give the answers to the first three questions. And I try to explain some concepts along the way, too, at their level. "Glorify God" means showing others how good God is, etc.

The last topic for this post is chairs. I remember when the children were very little having them sit in chairs during family worship. At first family worship only lasted for a few minutes and it was really us training them more than a time of the whole family worshipping together. We would line up the dining room chairs in a row and have them sit still while we did catechism, singing, or prayer. As long as we had a consistent time each day to do this, and we got off the sofa, we would see improvement little by little in our children's ability to sit still and participate.

Other points I want to mention in future posts on this series: joy in family worship, singing and music, long-term and short-term memory work, prayer lists, Bible reading, liturgy, Sabbath, missions, guests, and hypocrisy. I look forward to your observations, too.

Caught in the middle

Isaiah is a great little kid. As the middle child, he's the only one who can say he has both an older and a younger sister and brother. He's proving to be a good help during the homeschooling day, keeping Faith occupied so Kristin can teach the others. Here he is giving her basket rides down the hallway.


Isaiah is also a bit of a tender heart. He melts Kristin's heart with out of the blue, yet sincere, statements about how beautiful she is and how much he loves her. The kid's got heart. In this photo I caught him praying after recovering from last week's sickness.

Out of the mouth of babes (proceeds something besides praise)

What can you learn about human nature from a child's first words?

To help answer that, here are the most common expressions from Faith's lexicon:
"What u doin'?"
"Why?"
"Stop that!"
"No!"
"No, I'm not!"
"Mine!"

What we did with it

I'm borrowing a post title from More Water (I think perhaps from last Labor Day) just to say that the highlights of our long weekend were the several times we got together with our local church family. We're a small church, but we're pretty good at community.

I also like these comments from Doug Wilson,

Learning to live in genuine community is one of the central goals that we have set for ourselves. And, to be honest, we did not set the goal—it is set before us in Scripture as one of the basic elements of the Christian faith. We are one in Jesus Christ, and this is not to be limited to Sunday morning when everyone is wearing their best clothes, when pretty much everyone took a shower, and everyone is on their best behavior. This is the place where we are woven into community, but the thing is not supposed to come unraveled as we are pulling out of the parking lot.

But community on Monday morning . . . that’s another thing. And Thursday afternoon can be even more difficult. Because living in community is what takes the rough edges off, but before it takes the rough edges off, living in community reveals those rough edges. Some of you are regularly late to things. Some of you don’t return things that you have borrowed in a timely way. Some of you think that community means other people baby-sitting for you. Some of you think that community means having a right to be a grouch. Some of you think that community means flirting with all the sisters, or with all the brothers as the case may be. Community brings all this out, but community, over time, is also supposed to deal with it.

We are tangled up in one another’s lives, and this is as it ought to be. But we are not tangled up so that we would surrender to various forms of thoughtlessness. Confronting this kind of thing as appropriate, covering it in love as appropriate, is the training ground that God has given to us. We are a rag tag collection of forgiven sinners, and a number of us have some messy things lying about in our lives. The task before us is to pick up, and to help one another do so in all patience.

So patience does not mean leaving it alone. Addressing it firmly does not mean impatience. And learning how to do this is one of God’s great gifts to us.

Ignoring the thinkers

From Ken Myers' recent letter to Mars Hill subscribers: a sobering statement on Christians and their leaders.

I sense a growing level of uncritical identification with contemporary culture; Christians whose experience and assumptions have been shaped only by "culture affirming" institutions.

While there is a number of wonderfully insightful books by Christian authors who see the underlying dynamic of many cultural conventions (books about technology or commodification or narcissism or our addiction to entertainment or the state of modern marriage), the insights of such prophetic thinkers seem to be ignored by celebrated Christian leaders and hence by most Christians. It is easier to keep a big church program running if you don't introduce too much cognitive dissonance between what you say on Sunday and what advertisers and entertainers and professors and miscellaneous experts say the rest of the week.

One way to stop ignoring Christian thinkers is to listen to Mars Hill Audio. They now have a free podcast called Audition. I recommend it; the latest edition is an interesting analysis of the John Roberts' led Supreme Court.

Forgiveness. Nothing is more foreign to sinful human nature.

Our church had a very difficult summer with somewhere around one-third of the congregation leaving. Thankfully, it appears that the storm is over and now we can heal and hopefully learn how to relate to others better. To that end the next book we will study as a church is John MacArthur's The Freedom and Power of Forgiveness.

I finished the book recently and it changed my thinking on whether forgiveness requires repentance first and other foundational relational issues. True to form, you can't argue with MacArthur's arguments since they are so clearly taught in Scripture. He addresses many questions that, if applied, will help us to live in a more grace-saturated, self-denying way.

A powerful summary of the book's message can be downloaded (right click here) in MP3 format. It's an address that Pastor MacArthur gave to students at The Master's College back in 1992.

Pan Relay Races

It's time for another installment of Heroics in Parenting. Isaiah is sick, which brought this one to mind last night.

There is a race known only to parents of small, sick children. This race begins with a shock in the middle of the night. When you went to bed everything seemed fine and you looked forward to an enjoyable, peaceful night of rest. But sometime in the middle of the night a small voice breaks into your consciousness and you hear words like "Daddy, I feel like I'm gonna puke up." These words jar you into a quick reflex and you dash through the dark house (lest you wake other children) to the kitchen. You find a pot or pan (here is where Dad loses time reflecting on where one finds clean pots and pans in the kitchen) and sprint back to the child.

If you're successful you place the pan under the child's mouth in time, if not you scream at the other parent until they drag themselves out of bed and assist. Then dawns the realization that TWO pans are needed and after another dash to the kitchen (this time Dad remembers where pans are kept) the next phase of the course begins. Here is where a one-man relay begins as the parent rushes from child to toilet to sink (must rinse!) and back to the child.

When the first heat of the race is over, at least one parent will probably spend the rest of night in a weary alert status in the bed, poised for the next round to begin, when they again will sprint into action. And there will be no sleeping in the next morning if there are other children in the house. This is one more reason why parenting is for heroes (and it matters which side of the bed you sleep on).

The Young Peacemaker

The Young Peacemaker has been recommended to us by several other families. We just finished going through it as a family and most of us benefited from it. Many of the ideas in the book are probably too much for a child under 7 to grasp, but all of the children learned from the stories and some of the principles. We bought the kit that comes along with the book which contains worksheets and activity pages for each chapter. These are definitely for those who can write and read with good comprehension.

Overall, this is a great resource for a family to use and re-use. We plan to re-read it again next year.

The fun of keeping small children in small places

Time for another installment of "Heroics in Parenting". This one is dedicated to Kristin who so far this week has successfully taken 5 little children to a dentist's office, a doctor's office (you know how small those waiting rooms are), the grocery store, homeschool, and even got them all home after having a flat tire. Except for the flat tire this is a typical week for her, and that's why the world should stop and salute her and others like her.

For a candid (and very funny) glimpse at what shopping is like with several young children, you've got to read this, "LOT OF POKEMON CARDS THAT MY KIDS TRIED TO SNEAK BY ME".

The Reluctant Homeschoolers

We're back into the full swing of homeschooling as of this week. This year we have enrolled a 4th grader, a 2nd grader, and a kindergartener. We expect this to be a difficult year (not a first) with Faith and Zeke to tend to. We thought seriously about sending one or two of the children to a local school but decided that we'd try it for one more year (not a first for that feeling either).

There are some things we love about homeschool: that we get to teach our children some very important things ourselves, that we have control over the curriculum (which means we get to buy lots of books!), that they seem to learn responsibility and maturity better in the home environment, that we can "shelter our children" (oh no!) from many harmful influences. There are some things that we don't like about it: you can become white-washed tombs like in the cartoon, it's hard, there are tendencies to expasperate the children or to let them slide, you wonder if they are missing out in some areas, etc.

I'm thankful for others who have helped us in the past and how God provides new help each year. This year one of the "older ladies" in the church has offered to tutor Eli once a week on a number of weak areas he has; that's a great display of love to us! So if you can take some time to pray for us, we'd appreciate if you'd include a prayer for our schoolyear.

Zeke's Finalization Trip

We spent the week in the drought-stricken state of Alabama. Our main purpose was to finalize Zeke's adoption (Alabama law requires even uncontested adoptions to be finalized in person and in court). We knew what to expect for this one (we had the same courthouse, judge, clerk of court, and lawyer for Faith's finalization) so we took along most of the children as a homeschool field-trip. The judge was not able to be there due to health problems, but the clerk of court was able to make everything official for us. Zeke is now, officially in the government's eyes, a Bailey.

We stayed with Kristin's parents; they were generous and loving as always. For the first time since Zeke was born Kristin and I were able to leave all the kiddos behind and enjoy an outing together. We also were able to visit briefly with my mom.

Traveling went smoothly; the children were well behaved. The most interesting part of the trip for me was being in public as a family in places where no one knows us and they can gawk. We really stand out in airports, malls, and most restaurants. As expected, we got plenty of looks and a couple awkward comments from strangers. Kristin and I are prepared for this and we try to respond graciously or just ignore it. The children are oblivious to it at their age, but I do wonder how we can prepare them for such situations when they become more self-conscious.

It's strange how sitting on an airplane for half a day can just wipe you out, but we're all tired and happy to be home again.

Faith Turns 2

Happy Birthday to Faith! We're off today to Alabama to celebrate with family (and also to finalize Zeke's adoption); these pictures from recent months capture some of the many faces of our hip-hopping, laughing, questioning, fussy, fun youngest daughter.

Why we need to care about theology

Are you unmoved, or somewhat apathetic, when you hear about subjects like sin and grace? I mean, you know these things are great, but they don't seem immediately relevant to your life. I have been that way. Especially when faced with tough people problems, I want to skip the theology-talk and get to the practicals. If you're like me, David Wells is somebody you should make time to read.


His book, No Place for Truth (or whatever happened to Evangelical Theology) is a "wisdom book" that reveals how the modern culture we live in pushes theology to the periphery of our lives instead of the core where it should shape all our thoughts and actions.

This book is now 15 years old, but as Modern Reformation points out, it has stood the test of time and is still a must read. It provides insight on many topics, such as: community, the meaning of work, the entertainment culture, individualism, the values shift from character to personality and from morality to good feelings, the growth of an anti-intellectual and anti-authority church, the problem with pastors as "professionals", and a focus on explaining why theology is for the people of God (not just religious academia).

To summarize his thesis, theology holds the keys to Christian identity, to genuine piety, to the sort of thought that brings the Word of God to bear in our life. But modernity has shifted the focus from God to the self, where now we seek happiness, not righteousness, and God becomes increasingly remote and hence irrelevant to what is most important to us. While items of belief are still confessed, they are being removed from the center of life where they defined what life was, and now they are relegated to the periphery where their power to define what life should be is lost.

For local readers, this book is available for check-out in my church's library.

Man-mountain in the making

Zeke had his 4 month check-up today. He weighed in at over 19 pounds and measured 27 inches. That's 95th percentile in both categories.

My baby can beat up your baby.

Sectarian or Secular?

This series of posts explains quite a bit of the problems within the reformed world, its infighting, and the resultant, increasing number of microdenominations.

The problem: overemphasizing either antithesis or common grace instead of holding them together. Err too much on the side of antithesis and you end up sectarian and in a tiny ghetto. Err too much on the side of common grace and you become just like the world.

The fix: if you're naturally bent towards antithesis (like I am) develop friends who are naturally bent towards common grace, and vice versa.

Eli's new bike

This morning Eli asked me why some of his friends make fun of him because he doesn't know what a gameboy is or who pokemon is. I really haven't answered him yet, but here's what I will say. There's nothing particularly wrong with these things, it's just a matter of what they would displace from his life that matters to us.

One of our top goals as parents is to foster in our children a love of reading. We've centered our homeschooling curriculum around it, we model it in our own lives to the best of our ability, and we pray for it to happen. With Eli it certainly has. Even when he is doing chores, like taking out the trash, he'll often have a finger in a book as he goes about the house.

This summer, as usual, we participated in the city library's reading program. It turns out that Eli was selected as the winner for the city library we frequent. Today he was invited to the civic plaza where he received a nice prize--a new bike. What a great way to reinforce a love of reading, and to make answering his question from this morning easier. We're pretty proud of him.

Go to the byways; they may listen

Two verses from my recent devotions motivated me to renew evangelism with my co-workers. One was from the gospel of Mark where Jesus tells the parable of the king's feast. He makes a statement to the effect, "go out to the byways." We are to go out and initiate with people, inviting them to come to the Kingdom of God. The second verse is from my reading of Jeremiah where God tells Jeremiah to speak again, because "they may listen." I thought, "who knows? Even my co-workers may listen!"

I noticed that a co-worker I've been praying and hoping to speak to about Jesus was reading the atheistic-tract The God Delusion by Dawkins. That was a couple of weeks ago. Since then my prayers have included asking God for an opportunity to talk to him about the Christian faith.

I believe God answered that prayer yesterday when late in the day he and I were the only folks in his office area and we were already talking about some other things. I prayed for courage and not to be ashamed of my Lord, and I spoke. It turns out that another co-worker loaned him the book to read (now I'll pray for a chance to speak to him, too) and he hadn't begun it yet. We had a brief conversation in which nothing dramatic happended. But I feel good that I took the opportunity God gave me to speak. If he decides to read Dawkins' book, perhaps my words will make a difference.

Find new blog posts faster

It takes me a while to get around to the blogs of my friends because my laptop is pretty slow. And because people are busy, most don't update their blog all that often. So lots of time was lost waiting around to find out that there were no new posts on our favorite blogs.

I finally got around to using the RSS (Real Simple Subscription) feature built into most blogs. It was suprisingly easy to set up and instantly made blog reading more effecient. It tells you which blogs have new posts. Here's a link that explains how you can do the same thing.

Son of the Covenant: Ezekiel Joel Bailey

What a great delight it was today to have our pastor baptize Zeke in the Triune name of God. As the water was applied to his head, Zeke's eyes opened wide and he gave the pastor a huge smile!

For those unfamiliar with covenant baptism, here is how it is done:

The minister reads the covenant promises:

For to you is the promise, and to your children, and to all that are afar off, even as many as the Lord our God shall call unto him. And I will establish my covenant between me and thee and thy seed after thee throughout their generations for an everlasting covenant, to be a God unto thee and to thy seed after thee. Believe on the Lord Jesus, and thou shalt be saved, thou and thy house. (Acts 2:39; Gen. 17:7; Acts 16:31)

The minister then proposes the following questions to the parents:

1. Do you acknowledge your child’s need of the cleansing blood of Jesus Christ, and the renewing grace of the Holy Spirit?
2. Do you claim God’s covenant promises in (his) behalf, and do you look in faith to the Lord Jesus Christ for (his) salvation, as you do for your own?
3. Do you now unreservedly dedicate your child to God, and promise, in humble reliance upon divine grace, that you will endeavor to set before (him) a godly example, that you will pray with and for (him), that you will teach (him) the
doctrines of our holy religion, and that you will strive, by all the means of God’s appointment, to bring (him) up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord?

And then the minister addresses the congregation:

Do you as a congregation undertake the responsibility of assisting the parents in the Christian nurture of this child?

Down home post

In a recent mass e-mail from Dr. Dobson, of Focus on the Family fame, he included a story of a Christian physician who drives a bus of poor kiddos from a small town to a Vacation Bible School program in a neighboring small town. What makes this story blogworthy is that the doctor's town is my hometown, Seneca, in the northwest corner of South Carolina. And the other town that Dr Dobson mentions was our archrival, Walhalla (commonly nick-named Hog-wallow). This is all the excuse I need to give a little autobiographical info.

Here's the most picturesque photo of the area where I spent most of my childhood fishin' and swimmin', and boatin'.

The "rich kids" (usually families that moved into our area from more costly areas) got to live on the lake, but most of us locals couldn't afford it. Below is a satellite image of the house and property I spent most of my childhood at. The current owners have enlarged the house and tore down the barn, but you can still see the woods and pond that kept me outside for most of my growing-up years.

Perhaps this rural setting explains why I am still uncomfortable in large cities. I especially pity boys who grow up trapped in a .25 acre lot surrounded by other .25 acre lots with no room to explore, or hit a baseball, or even just throw a rock into the woods.

In a few months I'll be heading back to Seneca. My younger brother is getting married. Fittingly, the gal he is marrying is from Walhalla.

Teaching children to have daily devotions

We're gearing up for the new homeschool year which will start in a couple of weeks. Most of our supplies are in (more great books!!). The new thing this year will be to train Eli and Grace to have daily devotions. I plan to use this approach:

[H]ere is a priceless suggestion from pastor and homiletics professor Mike Bullmore, on how to teach your children to read the Bible.

When each of his children turn eight, Mike buys them a journal. A nice one. Then he tells them, “Tomorrow, we are going to have devotions together and do something that I hope lasts the rest of your life.” The next morning, he has the child begin reading a chapter a day in the Bible, starting in one of the gospels.

To help them meditate on what they’ve read, Mike has them write two simple sentences in their journal. One begins with the word “God” and one starts with the word “I.” Each day, Mike reads what his children wrote, a practice which gives him a unique window into their soul.

Once his children fill up their journal, they go on a special date with Daddy to buy a new one.

HT: Christ-centered children

A Continual Sabbath

FAQ from FAB (Faith A. Bailey)

Faith is very quiet in public, but when at home she is the most talkative one in our family. From sunup to sundown she is a little chatterbox. The only downside is that she says the same things over and over and they're questions she expects you to answer.

Her most FAQ is "Wha U Doing?" After the person answers this a few times, she switches to "Why?" before going right back to "Wha U Doing?" Kristin tries to convince me that this is how she builds her vocabulary, but I think she just really enjoys asking questions.

This photo was snapped when she discovered lollipops (someone else's) and was going for two-at-a-time.

Resigning from the ministry

In my reading and listening over the last couple of months (ever since my pastor submitted his resignation--please don't forget to pray for tomorrow's Presbytery meeting) I've stumbled across a number of helpful things to put into perspective the great difficulty of the ministry. Beside the farewell sermon from Edwards, I learned of Charles Simeon (a Calvinistic Anglican) and how the deacons of his church locked the pews during worship services because they didn't like him. They did this for 10 years!

I also stumbled across this timeless letter from a middle-aged pastor to his mentor. It's piercing in its analysis of the difficulties of the pastor.

My Dear Jim:

I am through. Yesterday I handed in my resignation, to take effect at once, and this morning I began work for the Land Company. I shall not return to the pastorate. I think I can see into your heart as you read these words and behold not a little disappointment, if not disgust. I don't blame you at all, for I am somewhat disgusted with myself. Do you recall the days in the seminary when we talked of the future and painted pictures of what we were to do for the kingdom of God? We saw the boundless need for unselfish Christian service and longed to be out among men doing our part towards the world's redemption. I shall never forget that last talk on the night before our graduation. You were to go to the foreign field and I to the Church.

We had brave dreams of usefulness, and you have realized them. As I look back across twenty-five years I can see some lives that I have helped, and some things which I have been permitted to do that are worth while; but, sitting here tonight, I am more than half convinced that God never intended me to be a minister. If He did, I am not big enough and brave enough to pay the price. Even if it leads you to write me down a coward, I'm going to tell you why I've quit.

In these years I have found not a few earnest, unselfish, consecrated Christians. I do not believe that I am specially morbid or unfair in my estimate. So far as I know my own heart, I am not bitter. But through all these years a conviction has been growing within me that the average church-member cares precious little about the kingdom of God and its advancement, or the welfare of his fellow men. He is a Christian in order that he may save his soul from hell, and for no other reason. He does as little as he can, lives as indifferently as he dares. If he thought he could gain heaven without even lifting his finger for others, he would jump at the chance. Never have I known more than a small minority of any church which I have served to be really interested in and unselfishly devoted to God's work. It took my whole time to pull and push and urge and persuade the reluctant members of my church to undertake a little something for their fellow men. They took a covenant to be faithful in attendance upon the services of the church and not one out of ten ever thought of attending prayer-meeting. A large percentage seldom attended church in the morning, and a pitifully small number in the evening. It did not seem to mean anything to them that they had dedicated themselves to the service of Christ.

I am tired; tired of being the only one in the church from whom real sacrifice is expected; tired of straining and tugging to get Christian people to live like Christians; tired of planning work for my people and then being compelled to do it myself or see it left undone; tired of dodging my creditors when I would not need to if I had what is due me; tired of the affrighting vision of a penniless old age. I am not leaving Christ. I love Him. I shall still try to serve Him.

Judge me leniently, for I cannot bear to lose your friendship.

Yours of Old,
William

Horse Camp

It wouldn't be summer for us if Eli didn't get some time with horses. For the past 4 years he has enjoyed horse camp. Here he is with Fame, his favorite.

A Farewell Sermon (part 4)

This will be the longest of the excerpts I give from Jonathan Edwards' farewell sermon, but it is something that deserves the space and time.

How highly therefore does it now become us to consider of that time when we must meet one another before the chief Shepherd! When I must give an account of my stewardship, of the service I have done for, and the reception and treatment I have had among the people to whom he sent me. And you must give an account of your own conduct towards me.

For then both you and I must appear together, and we both must give an account, in order to an infallible, righteous and eternal sentence to be passed upon us, by him who will judge us with respect to all that we have said or done in our meeting here, and all our conduct one towards another in the house of God and elsewhere.

He will judge us with respect to all the controversies which have subsisted between us, with the strictest impartiality, and will examine our treatment of each other in those controversies. There is nothing covered that shall not be revealed, nor hid which shall not be known. All will be examined in the searching, penetrating light of God’s omniscience and glory, and by him whose eyes are as a flame of fire. Truth and right shall be made plainly to appear, being stripped of every veil. And all error, falsehood, unrighteousness, and injury shall be laid open, stripped of every disguise. Every specious pretense, every cavil, and all false reasoning shall vanish in a moment, as not being able to bear the light of that day. And then our hearts will be turned inside out, and the secrets of them will be made more plainly to appear than our outward actions do now.

Then it shall appear what the ends are which we have aimed at, what have been the governing principles which we have acted from, and what have been the dispositions we have exercised in our ecclesiastical disputes and contests. Then it will appear whether I acted uprightly, and from a truly conscientious, careful regard to my duty to my great Lord and Master, in some former ecclesiastical controversies, which have been attended with exceeding unhappy circumstances and consequences. It will appear whether there was any just cause for the resentment which was manifested on those occasions.

And then our late grand controversy, concerning the qualifications necessary for admission to the privileges of members, in complete standing, in the visible church of Christ, will be examined and judged in all its parts and circumstances, and the whole set forth in a clear, certain, and perfect light. Then it will appear whether the doctrine which I have preached and published concerning this matter be Christ’s own doctrine, whether he will not own it as one of the precious truths which have proceeded from his own mouth, and vindicate and honor as such before the whole universe.

Then it will appear whether, in declaring this doctrine, and acting agreeable to it, and in my general conduct in the affair, I have been influenced from any regard to my own temporal interest, or honor, or desire to appear wiser than others, or have acted from any sinister, secular views whatsoever, and whether what I have done has not been from a careful, strict, and tender regard to the will of my Lord and Master, and because I dare not offend him, being satisfied what his will was, after a long, diligent, impartial, and prayerful inquiry.

Then it will appear whether my people have done their duty to their pastor with respect to this matter; whether they have shown a right temper and spirit on this occasion; whether they have done me justice in hearing, attending to and considering what I had to say in evidence of what I believed and taught as part of the counsel of God; whether I have been treated with that impartiality, candor, and regard which the just Judge esteemed due; and whether, in the many steps which have been taken, and the many things that have been said and done in the course of this controversy, righteousness, and charity, and Christian decorum have been maintained; or, if otherwise, to how great a degree these things have been violated.

Then every step of the conduct of each of us in this affair, from first to last, and the spirit we have exercised in all, shall be examined and manifested, and our own consciences shall speak plain and loud, and each of us shall be convinced, and the world shall know; and never shall there be any more mistake, misrepresentation, or misapprehension of the affair to eternity.

Special Delivery

From one of our deployed church friends:

Thank you for the wonderful care package! Please pass along my appreciation to everyone who contributed. It brightened up my week. Thank you all for your prayers and support!

God bless,
J

A Farewell Sermon (part 3)

I continue with a few excerpts of a personal nature from Jonathan Edwards' farewell sermon after being voted out of his congregation.

The improvement I would make of the subject is to lead the people here present, who have been under my pastoral care, to some reflections, and give them some advice suitable to our present circumstances, relating to what has been lately done in order to our being separated, but expecting to meet each other before the great tribunal at the day of judgment.

The deep and serious consideration of our future most solemn meeting, is certainly most suitable at such a time as this. There having so lately been that done, which, in all probability, will (as to the relation we have heretofore stood in) be followed with an everlasting separation.

How often have we met together in the house of God in this relation! How often have I spoke to you, instructed, counseled, warned, directed, and fed you, and administered ordinances among you, as the people which were committed to my care, and of whose precious souls I had the charge! But in all probability this never will be again.

I have spent the prime of my life and strength in labors for your eternal welfare. You are my witnesses that what strength I have had I have not neglected in idleness, nor laid out in prosecuting worldly schemes, and managing temporal affairs, for the advancement of my outward estate, and aggrandizing myself and family. But [I] have given myself to the work of the ministry, laboring in it night and day, rising early and applying myself to this great business to which Christ appointed me. I have found the work of the ministry among you to be a great work indeed, a work of exceeding care, labor and difficulty. Many have been the heavy burdens that I have borne in it, to which my strength has been very unequal. God called me to bear these burdens; and I bless his name that he has so supported me as to keep me from sinking under them, and that his power herein has been manifested in my weakness. So that although I have often been troubled on every side, yet I have not been distressed; perplexed, but not in despair; cast down, but not destroyed. — But now I have reason to think my work is finished which I had to do as your minister: you have publicly rejected me, and my opportunities cease.

Rescued from a Trapped Car

This post will be the start of an occasional category called "Heroics in Parenting" where we get to tell daring stories of adventure common among those who live with the young and foolish.

As I sat unsuspectingly at my desk at work yesterday, my wife called with the all too common watchphrase "I need help!" She explained that Isaiah had been trapped in his seatbelt in the van for the last half hour and could not get out. I mounted my trusty bike and pedal power had me home in under 3 minutes and the process of freeing a 5-year old from a trapped carseat began.

You may wonder how one gets trapped in a seatbelt? To know this could come in handy if ever you need to tie down a terrorist in your mini-van. Here is how it is done: Buckle the seatbelt behind your body. Now with one hand pull the shoulder portion of the seatbelt in front of you. With the other hand release the catch of the seatbelt. Let the seatbelt recoil until it is taut. The person in this seat has now basically lassoed themselves. Anyone over 4 feet tall will not be able to escape this noose unless the belt is cut in two.

Luckily for Isaiah he is still under 4 feet tall. After being stuck in his seat for 45 minutes he was quite hysterical and weary from repeated struggles to free himself. In the end we had to remove most of his clothing and the sweat on his body helped lubricate this situation enough that we could extract him inch by inch from his seat.

What adventure will today hold for us mild-mannered parents? Stay tuned for the next Heroics in Parenting!

A Farewell Sermon (part 2)

Excerpts from Jonathan Edward's farewell sermon continued from yesterday.

Ministers, and the people who have been under their care, shall meet together before Christ, that he may judge between them, as to any controversies which have subsisted between them in this world.

It often comes to pass in this evil world, that great differences and controversies arise between ministers and the people under their pastoral care. Though they are under the greatest obligations to live in peace, above persons in almost any relation whatever, and although contests and dissensions between persons so related are the most unhappy and terrible in their consequences on many accounts of any sort of contentions, yet how frequent have such contentions been! Sometimes a people contest with their ministers about their doctrine, sometimes about their administrations and conduct, and sometimes about their maintenance. Sometimes such contests continue a long time, and sometimes they are decided in this world, according to the prevailing interest of one party or the other, rather than by the Word of God, and the reason of things. And sometimes such controversies never have any proper determination in this world.

But at the day of judgment there will be a full, perfect, and everlasting decision of them. The infallible Judge, the infinite fountain of light, truth, and justice, will judge between the contending parties, and will declare what is the truth, who is in the right, and what is agreeable to his mind and will. And in order hereto, the parties must stand together before him at the last day, which will be the great day of finishing and determining all controversies, rectifying all mistakes, and abolishing all unrighteous judgments, errors, and confusions, which have before subsisted in the world of mankind.

A Farewell Sermon (part 1)

Over the last couple of months of reading I've stumbled across a couple very impressive farewell sermons. I was impressed because these pastors had been voted out by the congregation they had served faithfully for many years and yet their farewell sermon contained no malice but also boldly proclaimed the truth, "we will meet again. This will be set right." I plan to post some excerpts from the farewell sermon of Jonathan Edwards preached at the First Church in Northampton, MA after being voted out as the Pastor July 1, 1750.

Now ministers and their people may disagree in their judgments concerning some matters of religion, and may sometimes meet to confer together concerning those things wherein they differ, and to hear the reasons that may be offered on one side and the other; and all may be ineffectual as to any conviction of the truth. They may meet and part again, no more agreed than before, and that side which was in the wrong may remain so still. Sometimes the meetings of ministers with their people, in such a case of disagreeing sentiments, are attended with unhappy debate and controversy, managed with much prejudice and want of candor; not tending to light and conviction, but rather to confirm and increase darkness, and establish opposition to the truth, and alienation of affection one from another. But when they shall meet together at the day of judgment, before the tribunal of the great Judge, the mind and will of Christ will be made known, and there shall no longer be any debate or difference of opinions. The evidence of the truth shall appear beyond all dispute, and all controversies shall be finally and forever decided.

Now in this present state it often happens that when ministers and people meet together to debate and manage their ecclesiastical affairs, especially in a state of controversy, they are ready to judge and censure with regard to each other’s views, designs, and the principles and ends by which each is influenced, and are greatly mistaken in their judgment and wrong one another in their censures. But at that future meeting, things will be set in a true and perfect light, and the principles and aims that everyone has acted from, shall be certainly known. There will be an end to all errors of this kind, and all unrighteous censures.

Jane Austen through a man's eyes

Here's a funny quote from Dave Harvey's new book, When Sinners Say "I Do". I hear the book is really good.

I'm way too masculine to enjoy Jane Austen. Now, I realize that women usually read that as, "I'm not smart enough to get Jane Austen," and I suppose there may be some truth to that. But even if guys like me don't get the point, I've got to respect any author who can actually capture the imagination of an audience without mentioning a grenade-launcher. Even once. And I'm still way too masculine to enjoy Jane Austen.

In a touch of divine humor, God has given me a wife and two daughters who love everything Austen-esque. Maybe I'm missing something, but it seems to me that the plot is always the same. The only difference I can see is the name of the mansion.

If you've never read a Jane Austen or seen a movie adaptation, let me save you some time. Here's the plot. Start with an anxious, unmarried woman in late eighteenth-century England whose mom is wound up even tighter than she is. Bring in a clueless guy, also usually rich and unexplainably single, who doesn't know he needs a temperamental unmarried woman to make him normal. Throw in some eccentric characters, frilly clothes, a formal ball, and lots of soggy English countryside. End with a deliriously happy wedding, leaving the distinct impression that this couple will never know anything but harmonious marital bliss. Cut to the credits, cue the violins, go buy the soundtrack. That about sums it up.

Why doesn't anything happen in Jane Austen after the wedding? What about sequels? Here are a few post-wedding Austen stories I'd like to see:

Sense and Sensibility, Episode II - I Miss My Mom
Pride and Prejudice - The Sequel: Darcy's Hunting Buddies Move In
Emma Returns: The Matchmaker Strikes Again

I know...not likely. That's why I prefer guy flicks. They end at the right spot--usually when somebody dies. A Western never ends before the two main characters face off in the street, guns blazing. War movies don't end just as the bombing raid is taking off. And sports movies don't end until you see how the big game turned out. But in the world of Jane Austen, stories end at the altar, just when reality is about to come knocking. I don't get it.

By the way, I like Austen's novels, mainly due to the good and bad examples of men, women, and marriage.

HT: Tim Challies

Motivation

We live in a time where "ambition" only has negative connotations. Too few try to excel, too many are content to be at ease, even in Zion. This is most unfortunate for me personally, I must have a role model to motivate me, to inspire me. I'm most content as a #2, following in the footsteps of a #1.

I know nothing else about Faith Pres in Mesquite, Tx other than what I see in the link below. Judging from that, I'm very impressed by what I see in this session, these children, and most of all the parents of these children. If you're a parent and think you're doing okay keeping the baptismal vow you made to teach your children this holy religion, look here and be motivated to do more.

Idolatry in our culture

What do you do with all that talk in the Bible against idols? How do we explain that idolatry is still a problem for us today?

PCA pastor Tim Keller's recent article answers that question by showing that sin is always primarily an issue of idolatry. The basic argument:

• Sin isn't only doing bad things, it is more fundamentally making good things into ultimate things
• Sin is building your identity--your self-worth and happiness--on anything other than God. For example, sin is looking to your career (or romance, etc) to save you, to give you everything that you should be looking for in God.
• Making an idol out of something means giving it the love you should be giving your Creator and Sustainer

Christmas in July

I wish the military men from our church who are currently deployed could be back home with us right now, but thanks to several friends from church who spent part of their 4th of July with us, our deployed brothers will at least each have a really nice care package coming their way.

Thanks friends for helping and let's be faithful to pray for these men and their families!

The Reformed Pastor

I finished my second time through the book (in about 10 years) recently. If you haven't read it and you're thinking about the ministry, put this at the top of your list! It will inspire and humble you!


"One of the best known classics on the work of the Christian ministry. Is a most extraordinary performance, and should be read by every young minister, before he takes a people under his stated care; and, I think, the practical part of it reviewed every three or four years; for nothing would have a greater tendency to awaken the spirit of a minister to that zeal in his work, for want of which many good men are but shadows of what (by the blessing of God) they might be, if the maxims and measures laid down in that incomparable Treatise were strenuously pursued." - Philip Doddridge

When he grows up

When Zeke grows up I'd love for him to be a pastor. But if he's not called to this, I will make sure that he has the right set of heroes. The Church could certainly use more godly men, and sad to say, especially black men who are sound in their theology.

To this end, I like to read books that tell how God has used godly black men in the past so I can give Zeke the right set of heroes. The latest read has been, The Faithful Preacher: Recapturing the Vision of Three Pioneering African American Pastors, by Thabiti Anyabwile (I have no idea how to say that name, but the author is a reformed evangelical leader and pastor).

The book highlights the lives of three African American pastors; Lemuel Haynes, Daniel A. Payne, and Francis J. Grimke. It's a cross between a biography and a collection of sermons.

Haynes (1753-1853) spent the majority of his pastoral career, some thirty years, pastoring an all white church in Rutland, VT. He was Calvinistic in theology and basically a "black puritan". Payne (1811-1893) was a pastor within the AME church who dedicated his life to seeing the pastorate educated in Christian doctrine. Grimke (1850-1937), after studying under Charles Hodge at Princeton, became a pastor in Washington D.C. with a focus on reforming the white and black churches to have biblical views on issues of race.

These certainly are forgotten men in the history of American Christianity. Thanks to the efforts of Anyabwile, their lives have been retold and now I can share their stories with Zeke in hopes that he will grow up to proclaim unashamedly the glorious gospel of our risen King.

13 years as husband and wife

Kristin and I met through a blind-date my sophomore year of college (her freshman). That was 1991. Last night we reminisced a little on how much has changed. I asked if she ever imagined then how weird she'd become by marrying me: a homeschooling mother of 5 interracial children who lives in New Mexico!

A little over 13 years ago on an evening stroll along the river walk in San Antonio I asked this wonderful woman to marry me and then the astonishment of the ages occurred--she said "yes" and followed it up with an "I do."

A big thank you to Katie for watching the children last night so Kristin and I could have some time to savor a meal and the passing of 13 God-blessed years.

Happy Birthday Isaiah

Isaiah turns 5!

One of his favorite things: his bird-beak hairdo (Grace invites him to her beauty parlor after bathtime and he comes out very proud of his do).

What he wants to be when he grows up: a race-car driver.

What I learned from him during family worship this week: don't eat the fruit in heaven (he's worried about "that tree" [the tree of the knowledge of good and evil]).

Favorite recreational activity: wrestling with his daddy.

Why he wants to be 5: so he can learn to read.

Happy Birthday, buddy!

Trouble and Anguish

Note to my church friends,

The Session is scheduled to meet today and can use our prayers for uncommon wisdom, clarity in judgement, and courage. In this time of trouble and anguish in our church, entrust yourself to One who judges justly, and pray that He will do this through the men of our Session.

Add a caption

Eli went to a pool party this weekend and ended up wetting his hair with more than just water. After the lifeguard bandaged him up and he got some rest he was doing fine. But this photo begs for embellishment. Here are a few suggested captions (don't forget engineers aren't known for their humor, I'm sure you can do better):

Social worker to adoptive parents: "When did you stop beating your kids?"
"Finally, proof that Tim is harsh after all."
"Some kids will do anything to miss church"

Precious in his sight is the death of his saints

Rest in peace, Grandfather Witty. He died at 100 years old a few days ago. Albert Mohler had this to say about him,

R. Albert Mohler Jr., president of Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, Ky., and president of the SBC Council of Seminary Presidents, described Witty as "a great Christian leader, a passionate Christian educator and one of the great innovative minds of his generation.

You can read a fuller account of his life here.

Blog Break

Sorry for the lack of posts recently. I'll try again starting in July.

Becoming a "big sis"

Smitten by more than Zeke

Within a couple of days of having a new baby in the house, we picked up a stomach flu that's been making it's way through the family. It's not too bad of a strain, but we really don't want our little 7-pound person to get it. We'd appreciate being remembered in prayer.

"Happy is the case in which we can go to Christ, saying, "He whom Thou lovest is sick." (a helpful snippet from our next Sunday School book)

Home together

Coming home!

God is good. The inter-state compact between Alabama and New Mexico is complete permitting Kristin to come home with Zeke. They fly home tomorrow.

My personal utopia

I've been thinking some about the decline of respect for authority over the last couple of generations--a topic I'm working on for Sunday school. In class I'll talk about parental authority, but there is a general suspicion of authority across our culture. I found a good explanation for this in a recent Mars Hill Audio interview with sociologist David Martin. Some highlights:

What happened in the 1960s--when self became king--reoccurs throughout history. Self becomes the center of the universe. The individual's needs become paramount; his therapy is central, not the responsibilities owed to society. Hence, living under authority is resisted whenever it becomes an obstacle to individual happiness. Everything is ordered around individual happiness. There is room for God, for politics, etc, so long as they serve the pursuit of individual happiness. Narcissism is the core problem of our times.

When I'm weak

I'm tired. It's only been a couple of days without Kristin here--but tonight I'm feeling pretty worn out and counting on a refreshing rest. I'm homeschooling less than she does and haven't been to the store yet--how does she do it when I'm TDY?

Over in Alabama, Kristin is probably tired, too. Last night was the first night with Zeke. When it only takes 2 ounces to fill him up, we can expect some long nights for a while.

Each time we've added a child to our family there's been a period of utter exhaustion, but after a while we find a new routine and we're okay. I hope that holds true in this case.

A large family is nothing for a parent to be proud of. A large, godly family is. I want for the strength to do this well. Leaning is the right word...for when I'm weak, He is strong.

Happy scenes from Alabama

Going from periphery to core

Paul's friends (see Romans 16 for one list) seem like regular folk with stable jobs, households, and such. Yet he commended them for "working hard for the Lord", and what little bit we know of their character is impressive. Could the same be said of garden-variety Christians today?

To naval-gaze for a moment, much of the Christian ethic remains on the periphery of my life instead of making up the core of who I am. A couple of examples will illustrate what I mean. I'll occasionally tack on a "mercy-ministry" activity to my schedule so that I can feel like I care for the less fortunate. But at the core of my character I'm not merciful. On a different front, I'll force myself to join co-workers for a lunch-outting so I can feel like I'm trying to reach the lost. But I'm not an evangelist at heart. The examples get worse from there but I'll spare you.

What's the solution to this dilemma? How does discipleship move from the periphery to the core of our lives so that it drives everything we do? It must have something to do with not thinking of discipleship in performance-based terms ("working hard for the Lord" could easily be misconstrued that way). Rather the key may be found in the phrase, "he who has been forgiven little, loves little" (Luke 7:47).