Becoming Uriah Heep

The hypocritically humble Uriah Heep from Charles Dicken's own favorite, David Copperfield , had good reason to at least feel humble. After all, compared to those around him, his conditions were quite humble.

I can relate to Uriah Heep. Everyone else seems either better off or more gifted than me. Wallowing in the mire of self-deprecation, I can start hating more than just my shortcomings. Of course it starts with hating myself, forgetting that "by the grace of God I am what I am and His grace toward me was not in vain". But with that comes ill feelings towards my classmates, who are ahead of me only because they had better college math teachers than I did. This spills over into anger towards my family for not understanding my needs, my teachers for their inability to teach at my level, and on and on.

A better approach is needed. I must do my best, for when Paul says, "whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord", I suppose this includes Calculus, too. But beyond that I am to trust our Sovereign God. His plan cannot be thwarted. And remarkably, He is out for my good. I can trust Him even though the hill is difficult and there any many "signs" telling me to despair and turn some other way.

Falling behind my classmates in every subject is a humbling experience. I am not going to rise to the top of this class. This is true in many other areas of my life. There are many great things that I will never be. But I am comforted by the words of a reformed Scot preacher Andrew Bonar (1810-1892), "The Lord shows me that He wishes me to be one of the common Levites who carry the pins".

After all, the true heroes are not the intellectual geniuses, the sports stars, the bold and the beautiful. But instead, the real heroes, the ones for whom the world is not worthy, are those who diligently seek the one true Rewarder.

I can stop wringing my hands and instead fold them.