Sunday, August 22, 2004

Baby Shoes, Never Worn

I heard a story recently about a man who wanted to achieve the effect of a great novel in only a few words. He wanted to capture the tension, the relationships that make a novel so meaningful, but do it without the length. His result was one sentence long: "For Sale: Baby Shoes, Never worn".

A little over a week ago my mom stumbled across Candy, a 16 year-old girl who was about 2 months pregnant. A couple of years ago, Candy's mom died suddenly of an aneurysm while playing cards with the children. Her dad is an alcoholic. Candy has grown up dirt poor in a trailer I wouldn't kennel my dog in. She's currently on probation from school for fighting, and cries a lot.

The news of her pregnancy was not an occasion for joy. The truant officer had warned her that if she gets pregnant she'll be sent to Juvenile Justice. Her boyfriend told her that he'd also go to jail because he's 19 and she's only a minor. Candy's father wanted the abortion done by this weekend.

My mom, who aborted a baby decades ago and only recently realized what she's done, aggressively intervened for Candy's little baby. She quickly asked us if we'd take this child and call it our own, which we whole-heartedly agreed to do, and then pleaded with the family's grandmother, father, and older sisters, to let the child live and enjoy life in our home.

She contacted adoption lawyers, adoption counselors, and for the past week labored to dissuade the family from abortion. Gradually, the tide started to turn. On Thursday, the grandmother supported adoption. On Friday, Candy's father changed his mind and said it was up to Candy.

I suppose there's some law in South Carolina that before you can have an abortion you must watch their film. Candy's sisters told mom that Candy couldn't make it through the film without changing her mind. Regrettably, they were wrong. Mom received a phone call yesterday, saying that Candy miscarried. The baby's gone.

Whether she miscarried or aborted I don't know. But I did learn some things about the pressures a pregnant teenager faces, and that since abortion is legal it creates an "easy out" that's hard to resist.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry. What a sad situation for everyone.
This adoption journey is not easy. I would rather go through a pregnancy...it's easier emotionally.

Anonymous said...

ooops...forgot that I was not signed in....

Suzanne, who posted the previous comment

Valerie (Kyriosity) said...

How very, very sad. :^(

Carmon Friedrich said...

I'm sorry Tim and Kristin! It makes me so sad and angry, at the same time. I hope your mom will be able to continue to have an influence on that young girl's life.