Saturday, April 18, 2009

What he must be if he wants to marry my daughter

The title of this new book intrigued me so I bumped it ahead of several others in my stack to read. Also, Kristin has been encouraging me to start talking with Grace (9) about modesty, young men, etc so this book was also timely for me.

Here's a one sentence summary: since the typical approach to dating has many serious drawbacks, fathers need to exercise their biblical responsibilities by protecting their daughters until they are ready for marriage and pro-actively help them find the right man to marry.

Baucham breaks down the picture of "the right man" into 10 godly qualities fathers should look for in a future son-in-law. Among these are

He must be a Christ follower;
He must be prepared to lead;
He must lead like Christ;
He must be committed to children (which includes a commitment to have them, invest in them, and support them).

In each category, Baucham includes arguments for these propositions and provides biblical answers to the most common objections. I found it especially helpful that he anticipates a number of concerns that young women may have. He also understands that few young men fit these criteria and addresses that with a series of recommendations.

Examples from the author's counseling experience are sprinkled throughout the chapters making this an easy read. This book is a good and practical "headship handbook" and is the first I've seen to consider the topic from this angle.

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