Stepping onto a Roller Coaster Blind-folded

As of this week our adoption portfolio is being passed around to different adoption agencies. We now wait for the Lord to move the heart of a birthmother to choose us. That could happen this week...or not at all.

Kristin and I are preparing for what I think will be the most heart-wrenching phase of this process. This week has proved right my hunch. Already there's a birthmother that lives in our parent's town (!!) who is due in just three weeks. Even though the "odds" are against this working out for us, the possibility of having a new baby in our family by the end of this month makes us shake with excitement and quake with anxiety. The situation sounds so good to us, the let down is going to hurt a little if things don't work out.

Not knowing what lies around the bend, or if the next hill turns into a loop is a difficult way to pass the time. For me I feel like I did when Kristin was in labor--wanting the baby to come soon and with as little harm to my wife as possible.

In preparation for this emotional roller-coaster, we're memorizing Question 28 from the Heidelberg:

Q. How does the knowledge of God's creation and providence help us?
A. We can be patient when things go against us,
thankful when things go well,
and for the future we can have
good confidence in our faithful God and Father
that nothing will separate us from his love.
All creatures are so completely in his hand
that without his will they can neither move nor be moved.