It's Hard to Believe

Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed (John 20:29)

I struggle with believing God; I'll try to be specific. I have no problem believing that there is a God, or in my own sinfulness--that is too apparent. And I don't doubt God loves me, at least not since hearing a sermon by a pastor who rebuked me with, "what part of Jesus dying on the Cross makes you wonder whether God loves you?!?" But it's hard for me to believe God is really actively involved in my life.

I'm cynical. When I thank God for an answered prayer what I'm really thinking is that if you wait long enough, and do enough, eventually you'll almost always get what you want--God or no God. Thanking God after I get what I want doesn't seem like biblical faith; true faith should begin before "the answer" and continue on despite what comes. But this I lack.

I think David, in some of his psalms, expresses the difficulty of faith, while at the same time reminding himself of God's promises (see Psalm 13 for an example). So maybe what I experience is right, and a lack of "doubting God" may be an indication that I'm not trusting Him for anything hard.

Martin Luther sometimes lamented the hiddeness of God. Is He really there? Does He really hear? Is He really involved? But Luther points out that for God to be hidden, He must be present! We walk by faith, not sight. Even when it is hard to believe. Blessed are those who have not seen and yet believe.