The good, the bad, and the ugly

Parenting is a strange mix of difficulty and success.

Yesterday one of our children wanted to speak to me in private about being a Christian and talking to the elders of the church about becoming a communing member. I wish I had been better prepared for this conversation, I should have been, but eventually the membership and baptismal vows came to mind and we talked through those together. It was a great moment and a highlight of parenthood.

But that same day another child took a marked turn for the worse in a long pattern of poor and troubling behavior. Hours were spent in private talking through sin and what God requires, but in the end the child was sent to bed without repentance.

On a bit of a humorous note, the "ugly" entry centers on a new trick that Zeke picked up. He's entered that phase of infancy that Kristin likes least. When she's out with him in public and someone compliments us on how cute he is and the person leans down close to him, Zeke enjoys at that moment to let loose with a loud and spewy "pbbbbblllttt"! How long will it take for him to figure out that this is also a fun thing to do during the congregational prayer?

Children of promise

I've struggled for years to succinctly describe how the reformed faith views covenant children. Some misunderstand us to think that by baptizing our infants we must think they are saved. Others think that we should consider them lost until we hear a profession of faith. Still others misunderstand the efficacy of baptism itself, thinking that it regenerates them.

Here is the best short summary of the reformed view of covenant children that I've seen.

There is no ground in the promise of the covenant either for presumption that all baptized children are regenerate (or united to Christ) or for the presumption that covenant children are reprobates until they prove otherwise. We are to treat our children as baptized persons, to whom promises have been made. We should expect our covenant children to take up Christ's benefits for themselves, sola fide. We must catechize them faithfully and encourage them to make profession of faith and to come to the Lord's Table, and if they do not, they should face ecclesiastical discipline.

Baptism and the Benefits of Christ, R. Scott Clark, published in The Confessional Presbyterian, 2006

Survival Tip for Christian Parents: Don't Major on Minors

I've been guilty of majoring on the minors with my children. If you read the early days of this blog I'm sure you can find some of the pet issues and bandwagons that I've placed too much emphasis on. I think this mom's quote explains the danger well:

Say that you rail and your rail with your children about all kinds of things: drugs and rock music and Christian music and weak Christianity and sugar and white bread and recycling and ‘those’ people and bad literature and mud on their boots and dirty houses and vaccinations and feeding babies and chocolate and vitamins and natural childbirth, how will your children know which of these things is really important? Maybe one day they find out that some Christians eat sugar and they are nice lovely people who truly love the Lord but from hearing you day in and day out he thought that anyone who ate sugar had a free ticket to hell. Now every single thing you have tried to teach your child ever has been undermined by your passionate intensity.

Be on guard against self-righteousness disguising itself as holiness. Morality, if I dare say it, is a "minor"; the gift of grace through the redemption of Jesus Christ must be the major theme of parenting.

While blessings flee, Savior Lord we trust in Thee!

Music is useful in a believer's life to awaken godly affections and to seek the things that are above. The Indelible Grace cds, old, mostly forgotten hymns, set to new music, are great for that. My favorite cut on the new cd is In The Hours, which is performed in a strong, black gospel style. You can hear it here, and the heavenly-minded lyrics are below.

In The Hours

© 2007 Kevin Twit Music

Words by Helen L. Parmelee alt by Kevin Twit, Music by Kevin Twit

1. In the hours of pain and sorrow,
When the world brings no relief
When the eye is dim and heavy,
And the heart oppressed with grief
While blessings flee, Savior Lord we trust in Thee!
While blessings flee, Savior Lord we trust in Thee!


2. When the snares of death surround us,
Pride, ambition, love of ease.
Mammon with her false allurements,
Words that flatter, smiles that please
Then ere we yield, Savior Lord be Thou our shield
Then ere we yield, Savior Lord be Thou our shield


3. When forsaken in distress,
Poor despised and tempest-tossed.
With no anchor here to stay us,
Drifting, sail and rudder lost
Then save us Thou, who trod this earth with weary brow
Then save us Thou, who trod this earth with weary brow


4. Thou the hated and forsaken,
Thou the bearer of the cross.
Crowned of thorns and mocked and smitten,
Counting earthly gain but loss
When scorned are we, We joy to be the more like Thee
When scorned are we, We joy to be the more like Thee


5. Thou the Father’s best beloved,
Thou the throned and sceptred King.
Who but Thee should we adoring,
All our prayers and praises bring?
So blessed are we, Savior Lord in loving Thee
So blessed are we, Savior Lord in loving Thee

A prayer on year's end and the one ahead

O Lord, my Love beyond compare,

Your goodness has been with me during another year,

leading me through a twisting wilderness,

in retreat helping me to advance,

when beaten back making sure headway.

Your goodness will be with me in the year ahead.

Length of days does not profit me except the days are passed

in your presence, in your service, to your glory.

You have veiled my eyes to the waters ahead,

but I rest knowing that if you have appointed storms of tribulation,

you will be with me in them;

If I have to pass through tempests of persecution and temptation,

I will not drown;

If I am to die,

I shall see your face the sooner;

If a painful end is to be my lot,

grant me grace that my faith fail not.

Only glorify yourself in me whether in comfort or trial,

as a chosen vessel fit always for your use.

Amen.

[adapted from Valley of Vision, pages 111-112]

2007 in the books

For several years I've compiled a list of the books I was able to read during the year. It's a way of recommending some good reads to others and to push me to read more and better books in the coming year. A couple of those lists from previous years are on-line here: 2005, 2006.

Here's the list for 2007 (reviews can be found for most of these books by searching on the title in the search window above).

1. Called to the Ministry. Edmund Clowney. A short work full of challenging points to consider.
2. Each for the Other. Bryan Chapell. A pretty-good, complementarian perspective on marriage. Most-lasting point: the self-sacrificing nature of love.
3. Bringing the Gospel to Covenant Children. Joel Beeke.
4. The Mortification of Sin. John Owen. The time-tested, definitive work on putting sin to death in your life.
5. All of Grace. John Bunyan. Autobiograpghy.
6. The Faithful Preacher. Thabiti Anyabwile. Re-introduced us to 3 faithful and theologically-sound African-American pastors.
7. The Reformed Pastor. Richard Baxter. The time-tested and definitive work on shepherding your flock.
8. The Best Sermons of Jonathan Edwards.
9. No Place for Truth. David Wells. The first in a set of wise books on modernity.
10. The Young Peacemaker. Carole Sande. Great for families with children in elementary school and up.
11. The Freedom and Power of Forgiveness. John MacArthur.
12. The Bruised Reed. Richard Sibbes. Classic, Christ-exalting, puritan exposition of Isaiah 42.
13. The Life and Diary of David Brainerd. Edited by Jonathan Edwards. One man who reminds me what it means to live for God.
14. The Cross He Bore. Frederick Leahy. A moving, short treatment of the sufferings of Christ.
15. When People are Big and God is Small. Edward Welch. Helpful for fighting peer-pressure and fear of man.
16. On the Rise and Progress of Religion in the Soul. Philip Doddridge. A book-length evangelical track in the puritan style. Also provides good prayers.
17. The Love of God. D.A. Carson. A great approach for daily Bible reading with a brief, daily commentary.
18. The Heart of Anger. Lou Priolo. Very helpful ideas on preventing and overcoming anger in children and parents.

This list leaves out works of fiction that I read to the children as part of their homeschooling curriculum.

Merry Christmas 2007

My visits with Paul

Remember the various members of royalty that would take occassional breaks from their pursuit of affluence and power to spend a few minutes listening to the words of the Apostle Paul? When they had heard their fill they would send him back to his cell (out of sight, out of mind) and return to their plans or leisure.

This is me. I occassionally send for Paul so that I may wonder at the intensity of his faith and puzzle over his message. But, pretty soon the clock summons me to send him away, back into his slot in the bookcase. I have to get on with my life.

The truth is that I'm doing a much better job imitating Felix or King Agrippa than I am obeying the command stated by Paul himself, "imitate me."

More on discipling little children

While three of our five kiddos can't read yet, they can listen. With that in mind, here are the best (that we know of) songs for discipling little ones:

Judy Rogers' "Why Can't I see God" (songs based on the First Catechism) and especially "Go to the Ant"

Songs for Saplings (compliments of Our Hassienda)

For older children (~2nd grade and up) Seeds Family Worship. We have the praise album; the music is upbeat and better quality music and lyrics than much of what airs on Christian radio stations.

Last, Kristin wanted me to link to this post about what happens to hobbies when you have several little ones and to post this poem.

God, I want to do great things for you,
And speak to all the nations!
God replies:
That’s well and good,
But for now
Fix your children’s complications.

Lord, I want to straighten up the world,
Feed the hungry and fulfill someone’s wishes!
God says:
Fine, but for the present,
You need to wash the dishes.

Lord, I want to preach, proclaim your name
And bring salvation to the earth!
God says:
Good! Then teach your children
And preach my name to those you’ve given birth.

At the end of the day,
I think of all I’ve done.
But as I look it seems,
I’ve accomplished nothing for the Son!
God I had no time to witness one on one,
I couldn’t join my church group,
They said I missed out on lots of fun.

My household is the only thing
That managed to be cleaned,
My neighbor is the only one,
Besides my family I could feed.

The only ones I’ve read Your Word
Are those within my home.
God I’ve done so very little
And I feel so all alone!

God says:
I’ve seen the way you cleaned and cooked
And taught your kids My name.
Tomorrow morning at eight o’ clock,
I’ll watch you do the same.

The work you do at home,
Though no one really sees,
Is helping to raise little ones
To grow and worship me.

My ways are not your ways,
I don’t expect you yet to see,
But the precepts that you’ve taught your children,
Will help others bow the knee.

Your children will reach out to others,
Your example in their mind.
They’ll do great work for Me
And their children will respond in kind.

The hand that rules the world,
Also rocks the cradle.
Because of you, your children love Me,
All their hearts are stable.

Though your house is your domain,
Your tasks seem rather plain,
Your efforts will reach the multitudes,
Though from humble work they came.

© Copyright 2002-2007 by LAF/BeautifulWomanhood.org

When People are Big and God is Small

On the way to church this morning, Katie was in the car of front of me. At the stoplight I made sure to keep the enjoyment of my tunes to myself lest Katie (or anyone else) see through a rear-view mirror a humiliating view of me singing along.

The fear of man, the desire to be accepted and thought well of by other people, is common to us all. In this book Welch defines the fear of man like this: a fear of exposure or humiliation, a fear of rejection or ridicule, or a fear of physical attack or oppression. In one way or another, every human being struggles with this.

The central thesis of Welch’s argument is: “Regarding other people, our problem is that we need them (for ourselves) more than we love them (for the glory of God.)." If this person will accept me, if this person thinks I am okay, if I can be identified with this person, then I feel good about who I am. If they reject me, though, or do not give me the attention I feel I deserve, then that will just prove me to be the loser I suspected I was all along. When that occurs, our lives and thoughts begin to center on gaining the acceptance of that person, and other people become what Welch calls “person-idols.” As a result, we find ourselves “in bondage, controlled by others and feeling empty". "What or who you need will control you”.

The remedy for this sin: He must increase, while we must decrease. Realize and remember that seeking acceptance from others is often just a desire for self-glory. We must care more for the praise of God than the praise of men. Secondly, grow in the fear of the Lord. “If the gaze of man awakens fear in us, how much more so the gaze of God. If we feel exposed by people, we will feel devastated before God." See Christ as so glorious that we forget about our perceived needs.

What, then, is a healthy need for people and when is needing other people sinful? The answer is in the motive. So long as the need is centered on us (to feel good about ourselves), the need for other people is sinful. Healthy relationships with other people are built on recognizing that we exist to make the image of God (compassionate, gracious, faithful) more visible. Bottomline: "need other people less, love other people more."

I especially recommend this book for teenagers who seem most caught up in peer pressure, but Welch does speak to us all here. It's available for checkout in the church library.

Shadow Claws vs. the Indomitable Snowdog

Una is visiting for the weekend which provides the family with plenty of entertainment and our cat, Shadow, a new target. This video shows the best Una has got; Shadow retains her dominion over all dogs.

Zeke's on the move (plus a bonus track for Pinky)

Zeke auditions for the next army promo demonstrating his power crawl and smackdown.


Also we had a special request for a "happy Zeke" clip. (sorry about the sideways shot).

The real Faith

In public our daughter Faith is very shy. But this is an alter ego. At home her true identity emerges. She follows us around the house and cracks us up with her antics, words, and especially her facial expressions. Tonight I grabbed the camera and now have documented evidence of the real Faith.

It's beginning to look alot like Christmas

The snow on the ground brings to mind a question for you. What's your favorite Christmas CD? Each year we buy a new Christmas album to enjoy in December. I haven't purchased one yet, but I'm leaning towards a collection of carols played on hammered dulcimer sold by Ligonier.

To answer my own question, in hopes you may be interested, I look forward to this time each year when I dust off my copy of Georg Friedrich Handel’s famous work Messiah performed by St Martin-in-the-Fields. With the words in hand and the headphones on I'll awaken my soul in the morning before the others are awake.

On a lighter note, our family has enjoyed Sovereign Grace's Christmas album from last year so much that we've listened to it year round. I recommend it.


So back to my original question, what's your favorite Christmas album? I need to select this year's soon.

Thanksgiving Meditation

A few words of Thanksgiving to God for his promises to me, my family, and all his people. Adapted from David's prayer of gratitude in 1 Chronicles 17:16-27

“Who am I, O Lord God, and what is my house, that you have brought me thus far? And this was a small thing in your eyes, O God. You have also spoken of your servant's house for a great while to come, and have shown me future generations, O Lord God!

And what more can I say to you for honoring your servant? For you know your servant. For your servant's sake, O Lord, and according to your own heart, you have done all this greatness, in making known all these great things. There is none like you, O Lord, and there is no God besides you, according to all that we have heard with our ears.

And who is like your people, the ones on earth whom God went to redeem to be his people, making for yourself a name for great and awesome things. And you made your people to be your people forever, and you, O Lord, became their God.

And now, O Lord, let the word that you have spoken concerning your servant and concerning his house be established forever, and do as you have spoken, and your name will be established and magnified forever, saying, ‘The Lord of hosts, the God of Israel, is Israel's God,’ and the house of your servant will be established before you.

For you, my God, have revealed to your servant that you will build a house for him. Therefore your servant has found courage to pray before you. And now, O Lord, you are God, and you have promised this good thing to your servant. Now you have been pleased to bless the house of your servant, that it may continue forever before you, for it is you, O Lord, who have blessed, and it is blessed forever.”

My devotional picks for 2008

The new year is almost here so now's the time to plan and purchase what you'll need for personal devotions in 2008. Kristin and I have been very pleased with D.A. Carson's For the Love of God. This is a Bible reading plan and commentary that covers a chapter in four different books of the Bible each day. That can be too much some days and this plan easily allows for scaling back.

The best prayer help, in my judgment, is still The Valley of Vision. It's a great way to start your prayer time each day.


Tabletalk is always a good resource for devotions. They plan to cover Matthew in 2008.

The Ancient Christian Devotional also looks interesting and I've heard good things about it from folks I respect. If you give it a try let me know.
Whatever you choose, don't wait too much longer to plan it out. Add a present for yourself to your Christmas list.

Safely through week 1

With help from my friends I memorized Colossians 1:1-4 last week. Now it's on to verses 5-8. But while I'm feeling good about this plan, here's a reminder to me and my helpers for when things get tough.

Q: Why memorize something you're just going to eventually forget?
A: Because memorizing Scripture is what God exhorts me to do ("thy word I have hid in my heart", "let the word of Christ dwell richly in you") and the Spirit of Christ will use the Word of Christ in me to make me more like Christ.

Happy 8th, Grace!

We've all heard about a daddy's protective love for his daughter--and you better believe that I have it! Grace is such a sweet little girl who seems to grow kinder and more lovely every day.

I need to pray more for her future husband because I cannot imagine any man worthy of her hand. Happy Birthday, dear Gracie!

"Indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful." (Col 3:15)

Tonight I realized in the clearest terms what is meant by the body of Christ. Some recent examples will help explain what I have come to appreciate so much about God's calling us into one body. In the row in front of us during worship this morning parts of three families sat intermingled to help the little children learn to sit through the service. A retired couple spend time tutoring and loving my oldest child several times every week--they have become his surrogate grandparents. The photos of the kids building birdhouses are from this weekend when a really great couple in our church showed how they love us and our children.

How beautiful is the body of Christ. I am thankful.

Until it is enough

Family Life is doing a series of broadcasts on adoption (it's National Adoption Month). They recently interviewed a number of individuals who have been involved in orphan care ministry in their local churches. You’ll find this video very moving and challenging. We hope to do our little bit towards orphan care and call others to do their little bit until it is enough.



HT: Carolina Hope