Pan Relay Races

It's time for another installment of Heroics in Parenting. Isaiah is sick, which brought this one to mind last night.

There is a race known only to parents of small, sick children. This race begins with a shock in the middle of the night. When you went to bed everything seemed fine and you looked forward to an enjoyable, peaceful night of rest. But sometime in the middle of the night a small voice breaks into your consciousness and you hear words like "Daddy, I feel like I'm gonna puke up." These words jar you into a quick reflex and you dash through the dark house (lest you wake other children) to the kitchen. You find a pot or pan (here is where Dad loses time reflecting on where one finds clean pots and pans in the kitchen) and sprint back to the child.

If you're successful you place the pan under the child's mouth in time, if not you scream at the other parent until they drag themselves out of bed and assist. Then dawns the realization that TWO pans are needed and after another dash to the kitchen (this time Dad remembers where pans are kept) the next phase of the course begins. Here is where a one-man relay begins as the parent rushes from child to toilet to sink (must rinse!) and back to the child.

When the first heat of the race is over, at least one parent will probably spend the rest of night in a weary alert status in the bed, poised for the next round to begin, when they again will sprint into action. And there will be no sleeping in the next morning if there are other children in the house. This is one more reason why parenting is for heroes (and it matters which side of the bed you sleep on).

The fun of keeping small children in small places

Time for another installment of "Heroics in Parenting". This one is dedicated to Kristin who so far this week has successfully taken 5 little children to a dentist's office, a doctor's office (you know how small those waiting rooms are), the grocery store, homeschool, and even got them all home after having a flat tire. Except for the flat tire this is a typical week for her, and that's why the world should stop and salute her and others like her.

For a candid (and very funny) glimpse at what shopping is like with several young children, you've got to read this, "LOT OF POKEMON CARDS THAT MY KIDS TRIED TO SNEAK BY ME".

Rescued from a Trapped Car

This post will be the start of an occasional category called "Heroics in Parenting" where we get to tell daring stories of adventure common among those who live with the young and foolish.

As I sat unsuspectingly at my desk at work yesterday, my wife called with the all too common watchphrase "I need help!" She explained that Isaiah had been trapped in his seatbelt in the van for the last half hour and could not get out. I mounted my trusty bike and pedal power had me home in under 3 minutes and the process of freeing a 5-year old from a trapped carseat began.

You may wonder how one gets trapped in a seatbelt? To know this could come in handy if ever you need to tie down a terrorist in your mini-van. Here is how it is done: Buckle the seatbelt behind your body. Now with one hand pull the shoulder portion of the seatbelt in front of you. With the other hand release the catch of the seatbelt. Let the seatbelt recoil until it is taut. The person in this seat has now basically lassoed themselves. Anyone over 4 feet tall will not be able to escape this noose unless the belt is cut in two.

Luckily for Isaiah he is still under 4 feet tall. After being stuck in his seat for 45 minutes he was quite hysterical and weary from repeated struggles to free himself. In the end we had to remove most of his clothing and the sweat on his body helped lubricate this situation enough that we could extract him inch by inch from his seat.

What adventure will today hold for us mild-mannered parents? Stay tuned for the next Heroics in Parenting!