Mom's gone until when?

Oh No! Kristin and Isaiah left this morning for Florida! It's just me and the fearsome four until Monday!

I predict these 4 days will be a mix of Survivor and Home Alone.

Family camp

We're signed up!


We hope to see our Providence friends there in August.


Let's go camping!

Other lovers

Samuel Rutherford on soulmates:

I know that other lovers beside Christ are in suit of you, and your soul hath many wooers. But I pray you make a chaste virgin of your soul, and let it love but one. Most worthy is Christ alone of all your soul's love.

This soul of ours hath love, and cannot but love some fair one; and O what a fair One, what an only One, what an excellent, lovely One is Jesus! Put the beauty of ten thousand worlds of paradises like the garden of Eden in one; put all trees, all flowers, all smells, all colours, all tastes, all joys, all sweetness, all loveliness in one. O what a fair and excellent thing would that be! And yet it would be less, to that fair and dearest Well-beloved, Christ, than one drop of rain to the whole seas, rivers, lakes, and fountains of ten thousand earths.

O pity, that Fairness hath so few lovers! O, woe, woe to the fools of this world, who run by Christ to other lovers! But O that men would once be wise, and not fall so in love with their own hell as to pass by Christ, and overlook him!

Read Rutherford's letters here.

Trinity Hymnal now on-line

Here's the link to a listing of all the hymns in the Trinity Hymnal. You can also click a button to hear the tune.

This will improve our family worship time!

Raising our view of the pulpit

Christ the Center interviewed Rev. Glen J. Clary on John Calvin as a servant of the Word of God. The high view of preaching taught by the Reformers would be medicine to the souls of God's people who humbly and obediently sit under it.

Listen to the Christ the Center podcast to learn about preaching as worship, the real presence of Christ in preaching, and union and communion with Christ through preaching. A high view of preaching will make Sunday your favorite day of the week.

Getting kids ready for Sunday

5 steps to master to get kids ready for Sunday from Stuff Christians Like:

1. The Pre-Game
You know Sunday is coming. It's been in the same spot on the calendar for as long as you’ve been alive, so don't act surprised when your head pops off that pillow and you think, "Oh no, I have to get the kids ready today." Pre-game the night before. Lay out bowls and clothes and shoes. Make sippy cups the night before. (I can't wait to retire the words "sippy cup" and "tinkle" from my vocabulary.) Prepare before the day actually arrives so that you're ready for the storm.

2. Sell it to your kids
One of your biggest jobs as a parent is to play the role of studio audience or laugh track. In the same way that a studio audience will laugh on cue to let viewers at home know it's time to find a particular scene in a show funny, your job is to back up whatever your husband or wife says with raucous enthusiasm. Here's what it looks like in my house:

My wife: "L.E. and McRae, aren't you excited about Sunday School?"
Me (Immediately after she says that): "Yay Sunday School! You'll get to see all your friends and have goldfish and make a craft. Yay!"

Before they have a chance to even think about putting up a wall of resistance I piggyback what my wife has said, adding details, amping up the excitement, laughing on cue if that's what the moment requires.

3. Hustle them to the bathroom like a SWAT team.
I can't prove this, but I think my children have entered into a silent pact with each other to see who can use the bathroom the least amount of times in any given week. Roughly 72% of my creativity/energy at home is expended trying to convince them to use the bathroom. So, to avoid this "no bathroom liberation front" my wife and I try to shuffle our kids to the bathroom as soon as they wake up. Before they can give each other a secret handshake or a head nod and remind each other "viva la revolucion" we've grabbed them right out of bed like a SWAT team and marched them into the bathroom.

4. Distract them with stories.
It took me years to learn this, but if I want to get my kids to do anything, and this is for those rare times when they are refusing to instantly follow my Godly, fatherly advice as the leader of the house, I'll tell them a story. It usually involves an animal. And the plot unfolds as they acquiesce to what I need them to do. For instance, "And do you know what your grandfather did with that bullfrog when he brought it home? Go ahead and take another bite of Cheerios and I'll tell you."

5. Use a series of aerobic moves to get them dressed.
Is it lying if you tell your kids that you want to see how high they can raise their hands in the air just so that you can slip a dress over their head? Is it lying if you made getting on tights a jumping contest in which you bounce them on the couch as high as you can all the while pulling the tights up? Is it lying if you make putting on shoes a fun race? I hope not, because otherwise, I'm a wicked huge liar.

On most Sundays my wife and I are the first couple to drop our kids off at Sunday School when the classrooms open. Then we go sit in the sanctuary for 20 minutes and have a "mini date."

How about you?

Do you have any tricks you use to get your kids ready for Sunday School?

Eli's first business

This summer Eli started a pet watching service in our neighborhood. It's called "Eli's coming pet services" and business has been good. In the last couple of weeks he's watched a dog, two gerbils, one hermit crab, fish, a turtle ("Sonic"), and is scheduled to watch a cat soon. Even though he asks for only a small daily fee, people have been paying him a ridiculous amount of money. I guess it's a lot cheaper than a kennel!

Isaiah's 7th!

For Isaiah's birthday parties usually we just invite Joshua Overbeek over and we're set. But with their departure we told Isaiah he could plan a party and send out 7 invitations. After much deliberation and vetting of all options he settled on Hinkle Family Fun Center and invited 7 families (around 25 people!).

He had a great time playing putt-putt and lazer tag with everybody. Here are a few shots.

Eli's first song

Eli's been working on a song he wrote this week. In his premier performance Grace supplies back-up vocals.

Young Peacemaker re-visited

We finished our second pass through The Young Peacemaker this week. We first read it together in 2007. This time we went through it during family worship and found it to be a really useful training resource for working through sibling rivalry and other forms of conflict. Many of the ideas in the book are probably too much for a child under 6 to grasp, but all of the children enjoyed the role play and stories.

This is a great resource for a family to use and re-use. We'll probably go through it every other year or so for many years to come.

"My wife and children are killing me" and it's the best thing that could happen

This is an excellent post for fathers and those who love them. It's an excerpt from Andrew Peach's post at First Things's On the Square blog.

Most fathers-to-be suppose that their old ego-centered lives will continue more or less unabated after the child arrives. With the exception of a few more obstacles and demands on their time, their involvement with their children is envisioned as being something manageable and marginal. Nothing like a complete transformation—an abrupt end to their former life—really enters men’s minds.

But then the onslaught begins, and a man begins to realize that these people, his wife and children, are literally and perhaps even intentionally killing his old self. All around him everything is changing, without any signs of ever reverting back to the way they used to be. Into the indefinite future, nearly every hour of his days threatens to be filled with activities that, as a single-person or even a childless husband, he never would have chosen. Due to the continual interruptions of sleep, he is always mildly fatigued; due to long-term financial concerns, he is cautious in spending, forsaking old consumer habits and personal indulgences; he finds his wife equally exhausted and preoccupied with the children; connections with former friends start to slip away; traveling with his children is like traveling third class in Bulgaria, to quote H.L. Mencken; and the changes go on and on. In short, he discovers, in a terrifying realization, what Dostoevsky proclaimed long ago: “[A]ctive love is a harsh and fearful reality compared with love in dreams.” Fatherhood is just not what he bargained for.

Yet, through the exhaustion, financial stress, screaming, and general chaos, there enters in at times, mysteriously and unexpectedly, deep contentment and gratitude. It is not the pleasure or amusement of high school or college but rather the honor and nobility of sacrifice and commitment, like that felt by a soldier. What happens to his children now happens to him; his life, though awhirl with the trivial concerns of children, is more serious than it ever was before. Everything he does, from bringing home a paycheck to painting a bedroom, has a new end and, hence, a greater significance. The joys and sorrows of his children are now his joys and sorrows; the stakes of his life have risen. And if he is faithful to his calling, he might come to find that, against nearly all prior expectations, he never wants to return to the way things used to be.

You can read the whole thing here.

Celebrating that blissful day

A dozen roses, an exchange of cards, a quiet dinner (to be followed by a quiet night we hope), this is how we celebrate our 15th.

Worship without the "kickin' band"

The popular internetmonk blog received a loud response when he lamented the approach to corporate worship found within much of evangelicalism--"an approach that demands ridiculous levels of musical, technical and financial commitment and resources".

His points are worth serious reflection; here are a few.

"We have a lot of happy people right now. They have no idea what Biblical worship is outside of the context of their favorite songs played by a kickin’ band."

"We have tied ourselves to the Christian music industry and its endless appetite for change and profit.

"We have accepted that all of our worship leaders are going to be very, very young people."

"Worship is now a major audience event, led by skilled entertainers, aimed at a demographic and judged by the audience reaction."

"Let’s worship means the band will play. We need to give more time to worship doesn’t mean silent prayer or public scripture reading or any kind of participatory liturgy. It means music."

"Even singing is getting lost in this. As the volume and the performance level goes up, who knows who is singing?"

The elders at our church would be the first to tell you that our corporate worship has room for improvement. But what we are after is better congregational singing (i.e. more joyful and reverent). We're very thankful that our congregation isn't interested in the approach found in most evangelical churches today.

Parenting older children

Here's a link (audio and notes) for the best talk on parenting of older children (tweens and up) that I've heard. The speaker, Bob Kauflin*, manages to condense the wisdom of several great parenting books into one address and weave in stories from his own experience raising six children.

I highly recommend the audio.

*Bob Kauflin is a pastor and worship leader in a Sovereign Grace church.

Growth in grace

Here's a pretty helpful syllogism:

1. The #1 goal in life is to grow in grace.
2. Growth in grace happens by increasing the use of the "ordinary means of grace" (Word, sacraments, and prayer).
3. Therefore I should always want more of the ordinary means of grace.

Darth Double Dogs

Zeke is not the only one in the family to relish hot dogs (...forgive me). Isaiah has been enamored with a Star Wars cookbook recipe that turns a couple of dogs into Darth Maul's weapon of choice. (You're not really surprised, are you, to hear that there is a Star Wars cookbook?)

The good thing about 8 AM swimming lessons

Daddy & daughter tea

Grace and I enjoyed an afternoon tea at St James Tea Room near Old Town Albuquerque.

The two hour reservation allows plenty of time for conversation, tea, and enjoying the kitchen's creations. We were delighted to discover that the art in this little nook was from the brush of Lynn Hartenberger, a friend from church!

With Grace's 10th birthday coming up I was able to lay some important framework on modesty, dating, and peer pressure before she forms her own opinions (with the culture's help). The tea room website even offers some talking points to help us dads along.

The spiritual lives of busy moms

Modern Reformation ran a good article by a mom of two younglings about feeling like a second-class Christian. I'm sorry it's not available on-line without an account, but I think a summary may still be helpful.

Moms' days are filled with sippy cups, bottles, diapers, Elmo, crayons, chores, church activities, and occasional moments of coveted nap-time solitude. Their individual spiritual practices? Let's just say they don't involve hours spent alone under the trees with their Bible.

How can they stay spiritually healthy, much less grow in grace, without quiet time and the spiritual disciplines?

Conventional advice recommends two or three minutes of Bible reading, a little bit of journaling, a snatch of prayer, etc. All helpful suggestions. But something really big is missing from this counsel and much of evangelicalism.

Here's the key question, who is responsible for sanctification? Ultimately it's not up to us. Self-betterment has nothing to do with sanctification, even when the attempts are to better ourselves spiritually.

Thus sanctification is not a work you undertake through various methods and disciplines, but an amazing act of God's grace. You simply turn to him in your brokenness and receive from him the treasure of grace. This is fundamentally different from believing that it is up to you to cultivate spiritual growth through the faithful practice of spiritual disciplines.

So, if it's not ultimately up to you to assure your own growth in Christ, then how do you grow spiritually? Do you just sit around waiting for God to do something?

When we look to the early church members' own practice, they "devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer" (Acts 2:42). In other words, they listened to the Word preached in fellowship with other believers and reflected on it; they made it a priority to be there when the church celebrated the Lord's Supper; and they were consistent in prayer-not just on their own, but with other believers.

These are the "means of grace"--the places where we can expect God to meet us, and the manner in which we know he will sanctify us. Your spiritual life is shaped by meeting with God in the presence of his people and hearing the Word preached by someone set apart to preach it.

You are not sentenced to second-class status in the Kingdom of God because you are a busy mom. The Lord is faithful and he has promised to complete the work he began in you (Phil. 1:6).

Pig Roast!

The Newnams have proven again to be "good people". They opened their home and acerage and roasted 80 pounds of pork to provide a great time of fellowship for our church family.

I didn't do too well documenting the great time we all had, but hopefully other church blogs will make up for my lack of photos. One picture I wish I would have thought to take was Zeke asleep in the car before I even started the engine to head home. That's a sign of a good time!

Why Memorial Day is Worth Remembering

Pastor Kevin DeYoung on why Memorial Day is worth remembering:

"This may be controversial to some, but I believe the facts of history will demonstrate that on the whole, the United States military has been a force for good in the world. Obviously, as a military power, we have blundered at times, both individually and corporately. But on the whole, the men and women of our armed services have fought and are fighting for causes that promote freedom, defend the rights of human beings, and reject tyranny. War is still hell and a tragic result of the fall. Praise God for his promise to one day end all human conflict. But in a world where people are evil by nature and leaders are not always reasonable and countries do not always have good intentions, war is sometimes the way to peace–at least the best peace we can hope for between peoples and nations this side of heaven.

So thank God for a day to remember God’s common grace to America and his special grace in enlisting us, poor weak soldiers that we are, in service to Christ our Captain and conquering King."

Read the whole thing.

Graduation Celebration

I commend my wife for another fine year schooling the children. Besides a little help from me, we were also assisted this year by RGES (1 day of classes per week for Eli) and Oak Grove (2 days per week for Grace and Isaiah). Next year we plan to continue with RGES for Eli and Grace.

To celebrate the end of the school year (we finished yesterday) we did Charles E. Cheese, Chick-Fil-A, a park, and then the library for a fresh supply of books. We finished the day off with a free dinner at the Officer's Club. It was family night and they had a kid's buffet, a clown, games, and prizes. Faith was excited to win!



Kristin also had the bright idea of having the children set goals for this summer. We hope that provides some good motivation for all of us.

9 signs of life

I've enjoyed reading a letter a day from the pen of one of the great Scottish puritan Presbyterians. The Letters of Samuel Rutherford (1660-1661) were mostly written during his imprisonment for the sake of the Gospel.

This excerpt from my reading today provides a good example of the richness of 17th-century devotional literature:

Loving Brother, Hold fast Christ without wavering, and contend for the faith. You may put a difference betwixt you and reprobates (those without Christ), if you have these marks,

1. If ye prize Christ and his truth so as ye will sell all and buy him, and suffer for it.

2. If the love of Christ keepeth you back from sinning, more than the law, or fear of Hell.

3. If ye be humble, and deny your own will, wit, credit, ease, honor, the world, and the vanity and glory of it.

4. Your profession must not be barren and void of good works.

5. Ye must in all things aim at God's honor; ye must eat, drink, sleep, buy, sell, sit, stand, speak, pray, read, and hear the word, with a heart-purpose that God may be honored.

6. Ye must show yourself an enemy to sin, and reprove the works of darkness, such as drunkenness, swearing, and lying, albeit the company should hate you for so doing.

7. Keep in mind the truth of God, that ye heard me teach, and have nothing to do with the corruptions and new guises entered into the house of God.

8. Make conscience of your calling (as a Christian), in covenants, in buying and selling.

9. Acquaint yourself with daily praying; commit all your ways and actions to God, by prayer, supplication, and thanksgiving; and count not much of being mocked; for Christ Jesus was mocked before you.

Congratulations!

He's too modest to just blurt it out, but Justin was recently named a Distinguished Graduate of Squadron Officer School! This is a high honor in the Air Force and sets him apart from most of his peer group. Way to go, Justin!

Parenting a Child's Heart

Paul Tripp in a recent interview was asked these practical questions.

Is there a valid way to use guilt and threats to motivate good behavior? Yes...(more)

Is it ever OK to use "materialistic rewards" for immediate, temporary needs, such as keeping your child quiet for the next 10 minutes in church? Sure...(more)

For some more great parenting advice, read the classic by his brother, Tedd Tripp.

When pastors knew their office

The Gospel Ministry is remarkable in that this 18th century ordination sermon given by an obscure, young man now serves as a judgment sign upon 21st century pastorates.

Foxcroft understood faithfulness to God in a minister's character, preaching, care for a flock, the needs of souls, diligence in selflessness, and the source of strength. He served faithfully in the same church from the time of his ordination until his death.

I'm grateful that Soli Deo Gloria re-published this handsome little book; it's a needful reminder about the office of pastor.

Happy Mother's Day!

Dedicated to my amazing wife...

HT: Steppin Heavenward

Moms Stay Out

We all enjoy the Mom's Day Out that some kind ladies in our church offer. We know Faith enjoys it, too. She calls it Moms Stay Out!, which I guess makes sense to her.

Lunch with a pilgrim

I enjoyed meeting with a friend from work today to discuss the gospel. He's "interested in religion" and is looking for something to fill an emptiness.

We had an earnest discussion about the God-shaped vacuum in everyone's heart. I feel that this friend was lovingly warned about sin and God was honored with the presentation of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

It was a joy to share the gospel at length and this time with a friend that in God's providence was interested in hearing it.

What he must be if he wants to marry my daughter

The title of this new book intrigued me so I bumped it ahead of several others in my stack to read. Also, Kristin has been encouraging me to start talking with Grace (9) about modesty, young men, etc so this book was also timely for me.

Here's a one sentence summary: since the typical approach to dating has many serious drawbacks, fathers need to exercise their biblical responsibilities by protecting their daughters until they are ready for marriage and pro-actively help them find the right man to marry.

Baucham breaks down the picture of "the right man" into 10 godly qualities fathers should look for in a future son-in-law. Among these are

He must be a Christ follower;
He must be prepared to lead;
He must lead like Christ;
He must be committed to children (which includes a commitment to have them, invest in them, and support them).

In each category, Baucham includes arguments for these propositions and provides biblical answers to the most common objections. I found it especially helpful that he anticipates a number of concerns that young women may have. He also understands that few young men fit these criteria and addresses that with a series of recommendations.

Examples from the author's counseling experience are sprinkled throughout the chapters making this an easy read. This book is a good and practical "headship handbook" and is the first I've seen to consider the topic from this angle.

Look who blogged

Mike's back in the blogosphere, chronicling a daunting travel goal and still giving away stuff.

Heading home

After a great vacation, we're heading home. Here are some pictures from the last few days.

The family's first visit to an In n Out Burger was a good one.
San Diego has a nice maritime museum. This was the ship used in the recent film Master and Commander. We all enjoyed acting like midshipmen.
Grace peers through the periscope aboard a Cold War era Soviet Sub (notice in the background is one of the 3 "pots" for a 78 member crew).
Seals have taken over one of the local beaches here; they enjoy sunbathing as much as we do (they're not dead, just comfy).
The kids enjoyed a front-row seat on San Diego zoo's double-decker touring bus.
On our last trip to the beach there was Treasure Everywhere and Eli stumbled upon a sand dollar.

Your galaxy is safe with us

Everybody has to be good at something...
If you look close you'll see Faith is in my ship perfectly demonstrating the defensive fighting position.

We all had a great time at Disneyland yesterday.

Recovering the Reformed Confession

TIME magazine recently listed "new Calvinism" in the top 10 ideas changing the world. I've meandered through Calvinism's big tent (this blog was originally intended to record that trek), benefited in many ways, and wrestled with the differences between its diverse leaders, all who are described as being "reformed".

Scott Clark (of Westminster Seminary, California) penned a lengthy book out of concern for that adjective "Reformed". He argues that it has a historic meaning that is more encompassing than the suddenly in vogue doctrines of grace.

WORLD magazine (April 11th, 2009) ran a brief review of Colin Hansen's Young, Restless, and Reformed that hints at an encouraging aspect of this growth. "Many young pastors and church members are becoming Reformed", the reviewer comments. Then he quotes Hansen, "A vision of the transcendent God takes their breath away. When they see that theology can drive a deeper and more passionate relationship with God, they tend not to worry about potential debates over doctrine."

Overall this quote is heartening--when a person better understands who God is it's a positive development and it should stir the affections. But before someone starts calling themselves "Reformed" wouldn't it be helpful to know what that term historically entails? I'm convinced that most don't, and that leads to confusion.

I was expecting Dr. Clark to address this development in his book and was hoping he would provide what is lacking today (to my knowledge)--an inviting exhortation for those among the new Calvinists to embrace the full meaning of Reformed. However, I think he wrote this book before Hansen's work and certainly before TIME ran their piece, so that was not the chief focus of this volume.

Instead, and still importantly, this book is a call for the established reformed churches to first get their house in order and to return to the confession they say they believe. Dr. Clark boldly calls out many areas where we have lost sight of our Reformed heritage in our theology, piety, and practice. Most among the Reformed have drifted into broad evangelicalism, been affected by revivalism, and we have suffered for it.

After diagnosing the problems, Clark suggests the remedies. In addition to returning to our confessional practices in such areas as the regulative principle of worship and the means of grace, he argues that the Reformed community needs to also draft new confessional statements which address the issues confronting the modern Church.

Modern evangelicalism has been a significant shaping influence in my life and one that is often at odds with the confession I say best summarizes Scripture. Dr. Clark's book reminded me that "Reformed" is a full-orbed term codified in confessional documents and he challenged me to recover the reformed confession in several areas of my life.

We could get used to this

We enjoyed seeing some friends today who we used to know in ABQ but have lived here in Southern California for a couple of years. Their church home provided a friendly place to worship and a good Sunday school class.

Here are a few pictures from the last couple of days (we replaced our broken camera).
Zeke loved the toy train museum.
So far we've done Legoland, SeaWorld, the science center, the toy train museum, and the aquarium, but the beach is everyone's favorite.
The view out of the kitchen window.

Wave upon wave

From where we are vacationing we have a good view of the Pacific Ocean with its waves rhythmically rolling up and down the beach below the bluff this house rests upon. As beautiful as this image is, God means it only to point to the wave upon wave of grace that flows from Calvary's cross. Again this morning, Valley of Vision has been used of God to draw out my affection to that which can truly satisfy.

O Lord God,

From Calvary's cross wave upon wave of grace reaches me,

deals with my sin,

washes me clean,

renews my heart,

strengthens my will,

draws out my affection,

kindles a flame in my soul,

rules throughout my inner man,

consecrates my every thought, word, work,

teaches me thy immeasurable love.

How great are my privileges in Christ Jesus!

Without him I dare not lift up my guilty eyes;
in him I gaze upon my Father-God and friend.

Without him is gaping hell below me, and eternal anguish;
in him its gates are barred to me by his precious blood.

Without him all things external call for my condemnation;
in him they minister to my comfort,
and are to be enjoyed with thanksgiving.

Praise be to thee for grace,
(it sustains the redeemed soul and not one link of its chain can be broken!)
and for the unspeakable gift of Jesus.

Come closer

"It is little to see Christ in a book, as men do the world in a card. They talk of Christ by the book and the tongue and no more; but to come near to Christ and embrace him is another thing."

Samuel Rutherford to the Lady Kenmure while imprisoned for Christ
22 Nov 1636

Sea World

After a full day at the beach yesterday, today was time for Sea World. The camera broke so there are no pictures to post, but we made the most of our day and saw many of the shows and did the rides. It was a great time; I think each of the children found several things that they really enjoyed. Kristin and I were happy, too in that we didn't lose any of the children.

I'm thankful for Sea World's "Here's to the Heroes" discount for military families; without it we couldn't have afforded the cost for our large family.

We made it!

An evening on the Pacific coast near San Diego.

The one-day pregnancy, two years later

What a cake!

Two years ago on this day we were finishing our homestudy and hoping to adopt sometime before we moved. The day after we completed the basic paperwork we received a call and were matched to Zeke. He was born on April 4th and we were soon in route to pick him up.

That "one-day pregnancy" is an amazing adoption story, but one with sad implications of how great the need is to adopt minorities domestically.

We can't imagine life without Zeke now and wouldn't want to. Happy birthday, Caboose!

We're going to Disneyland!

Today I passed the last Air War College test, a 13-month correspondence program focused on leadership, international policy, and military strategy. I can't believe I got through it!

The timing worked out nice. We're heading off to San Diego and points beyond this weekend to see the sights. Because of the size of our family we decided to rent a house for the time we're there. The Vacation Rentals By Owner is a really handy website for such a thing. For us the costs are about the same as two hotel rooms.

Doubt in the face of hard decisions

Kristin and I watched Doubt this weekend; we've talked more about it than any movie we've seen in a long time.

Doubt was first a Pulitzer-prize winning play about a battle of the wills between an iron-gloved Catholic school principal who believes in the power of fear and discipline and a vibrant, compassionate priest who is trying to upend the school's strict customs. Both main characters have a mix of strange and endearing traits so you're never able to completely dislike the cold principal or trust the friendly priest. You're left withholding judgment as the nun ruthlessly pursues a suspicion that the Father is having inappropriate relationships with the students.

Ultimately, Doubt has two main points. First, there are difficult situations where you must make moral judgments even when you don't have all the facts. Second, these decisions will come at great cost.

This is a good movie; if you haven't seen it yet, I hope you will.

Some recent reads (by Kristin)

The Law of Kindness by Mary Beeke
“Life is full of races and discouragements. A kind word of encouragement can spur us on.” This book provides lots of practical advice for “small courtesies” that “take very little time or effort” (my kind of book) in areas of:
Parenting with Kindness
The Kind Wife
Kind Thoughts and
Kind Words
Through the book Mrs Beeke helps you examine your motives (ouch!) and encourages the dependence on Christ as you seek to cultivate the fruit of the Spirit of kindness.

Practical Theology for Women: How knowing God Makes a Difference in Our Daily Lives by Wendy Horger Alsup
Just some quotes from this one:
“ There is a lot in Christianity today that is easily defended by human logic but utterly lacking in biblical foundation”
On regarding scriptural truths:
“ Do you allow these truths to interpret your circumstances, or do you allow your circumstances to distract you from these truths?”

Great reminder:
“ As we empty ourselves in humility, God transforms us, rooting out our sin and depravity and replacing it with character that reflects his own.”

And then some good ideas because:
“Many days, it is hard to find time to get into the Word, but there are still many ways to allow the Word to get into us.”

Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life

This book is an examination of spiritual disciplines - disciplines provided by God which are designed to help us grow in godliness, allowing us to become more and more conformed to the image of Christ. The disciplines Whitney writes about are:

Bible intake
Prayer
Worship
Evangelism
Serving
Stewardship
Fasting
Silence and solitude
Journalling
Learning

One of my favorite aspects about this book is that Whitney draws heavily from the Puritans and from other great Christians of the past when the spiritual disciplines were regarded more highly than they are today.

Note: This book is the free audio book for March from Christian Audio.

Bye Bye Barry

Barry was an old friend. Kristin bought it with babysitter money when she was in college. The odometer reading: 10 miles. Today it was towed away with about 160K miles. In 18 years that car (which never broke down on us) made lots of memories: our honeymoon drive to Destin, cross-country drives to 7 assignments, driving on the flightline of McGuire AFB, a back seat full of kids, trying to get over the East Mountains of New Mexico, getting hit by a truck on the driver's side, getting hit by a cop car on the passenger's side, wishing the car was visible to the naked eye or at least had air bags, etc. Bye, bye Barry; hello Bubba (our very visible Suburban).

Be IW Not OW

White Horse Inn interviewed Os Guinness recently; I adapted part of it for our Sunday School discussion on how we should interact with culture, how we often get it wrong, and how understanding common grace is the key.


Here's a quick explanation:

Be IW not OW: how we should be

Be IW, OW: Christians that look just like the world

Not IW, Not OW: Christians that have withdrawn from society

Not IW, OW: Pharisees, the prodigal son's older brother, a Christian ghetto

A proper understanding of common grace is the key to staying in the "IW not OW" quadrant. Forget about common grace and you tend to separate from the world. Forget that common grace is not saving grace and you end up OW.

Shed that thick suit of skin

It's about time for "reverse feedback" at the office. This is where folks get to submit anonymous comments about me to my boss. Then my boss sits down with me and goes over the comments before I get to see them--sounds fun, huh? Reading the report last year made me squirm. No one likes a critic, especially a group of anonymous ones.

Yet criticism has even more withering power when it comes from loved ones in your family and church. Conventional thinking says to grow your skin thick and don't let the gripes get you down. But I found an article that presents a much better way. (HT: JT)

To take criticism well see yourself as God sees you—a sinner. The cross has criticized and judged you more intensely, deeply, pervasively, and truly than anyone else ever could. This knowledge permits you to say to all other criticism: "This is just a fraction of it."

But the cross of Christ also reminds you that God has thoroughly and forever accepted you in Christ. The whole world can stand against you, denounce you, or criticize you, and you will be able to reply, "If God has justified me, who can condemn me?" "If God justifies me, accepts me, and will never forsake me, then why should I feel insecure and fear criticism?"

I ought not to fear man's criticism for I have already agreed with God's criticism. And I do not look ultimately for man's approval for I have gained by grace God's approval. In fact, His love for me helps me to hear correction and criticism as a kindness, oil on my head, from my Father who loves me.

Read the whole thing.

Good relationships take time

I admire people who have close and deep relationships with others (I'm thinking here of relationships outside of the immediate family). Kristin and I struggle with this; part of the problem is moving to a different part of the country every few years, but for me at least, there's something more inherent.

The following excerpt from an interview with Christian counselor and author, David Powlison, illuminates a common reason for failing to build deep friend relationships--one that I'm guilty of. Surprisingly, it revolves around how he thinks of making effective use of time. He exposes a tension between "efficient time management" and developing good relationships.

David, what single bit of counsel has made the most significant difference in your effective use of time?

I’ll give a bit fuller answer here, as I think my response is likely a bit unusual. I’ve had to learn how I work best, and it’s not the cultural ideal of tightly scheduled efficiency. For me, effective and productive often operate in ways that seem quite “inefficient.” I’m more “third-world” in my use of time: event-oriented and person-oriented, rather than time-conscious and to-do-list-conscious. I operate with an inner gyroscope tuned to whether or not any particular experience or interaction is complete – not to how long it takes or whether it fits the schedule. I’m attuned to whether or not any particular thought is actually finished thinking, rather than whether the product is done on time. So I tend to take the time it takes to get something right—whether that “something” is the close attentiveness of getting fully engaged in this conversation of consequence, or how to craft this sentence and paragraph, or whether I’m stopping and actually noticing the hawk flying overhead right now.

My way of working—of living—means that I’m not very “efficient” in my use of time because I tend to take the time. I am the world’s worst when it comes to multi-tasking and to checking off to-do list items. It can be a fault for which I must repent; it’s my greatest strength, because I’m fully engaged.

I admire people who seem able to use every moment productively. But I’ve found that I simply do not work well that way. A certain kind of “wasting time” has proven to be absolutely essential to my fruitfulness. (I’m not recommending my way to others, but simply describing what I’ve learned about how I work. Perhaps some readers also work this way, and can find freedom from trying to live up to an ideal—the so-called “Protestant ethic”—that ill suits how God has made them to function.)

Our dominant cultural ideal is that of the busy, efficient executive who is always on task and getting projects done. But that doesn’t fit the neighborly housewife who takes time for relationships and helping in the need of the moment, or the artist who takes the time for trial and error and experimentation, crafting and recrafting. I operate more like a neighbor and artist than like an executive.

I take comfort in the oddity of Jesus’ example of time management. He was certainly on task, but his way of going about his calling was to wander around and interact with whoever he happened to run into that day. He engaged whatever happened to be going on in those people’s lives right then. He took “little” people just as seriously as “big” people, and gave himself to both. His work life was more like Francis of Assisi than like a life structured around the Blackberry, strategic plan, project list, and meeting schedule. God’s kingdom embraces and uses many kinds of people, and we don’t all operate the same way.

He goes on to give a great example from his life. The interview was conducted by pastor C.J. Mahaney and is available in full here.

How to build a bridge (to an angry child)

I finished a good book today that addresses a common parenting problem. Get Outta My Face focuses on how to engage an embittered child (aimed at teenagers) in conversations that will open him up instead of shut him down. There's a ton of practical wisdom here that can repair damaged parent/child relationships.

The author, Rick Horne, has served the Lord as a Christian high school counselor for over 30 years and has raised 6 children through the teen years. It would be a shame not to learn from such a wealth of experience.

Throughout the book he explains in practical terms how to listen carefully, intentionally and affirmatively, clarifying the underlying healthy desires beneath the teenager's actions, looking for solutions that will be more effective in attaining those fundamental wants, and helping to develop small, manageable plans for reaching out to those goals.

This book offers parents like me a practical and wise way out of dead end conflicts with their children.

Free modern recordings of old hymns

Here's a free album I like; Page CXVI is sharing their recent recordings for free to bless the wider church. You can listen and download them at their site.

(For those curious, I'm told that CXVI is the page number where Aslan sings Narnia into being.)

Others that are good at putting old hymns to modern tunes:
Nathan Clark George
Jars of Clay - Redemption Songs
Indelible Grace albums
Sovereign Grace Music
Red Mountain Music

Speaking words of life and death

Our home phone rang just after 6 a.m. Sunday morning and I was told to put on my service dress and report to the military personnel flight as soon as possible. It was the casualty notification assistant and I was to inform the next of kin of the death of a loved one.

I was awake when he called, preparing to lead worship at church that morning. I made different plans, spoke to Kristin, got ready, and was just about to leave the house when the phone rang again. There had been a miscommunication and another officer was already en route; I wasn't needed after all.

As I dressed down, I remembered sketchy details about the last time I was involved with casualty notification. It's been about 10 years since I drove out to a farm in Pennsylvania to inform the parents of the death of a young airmen. As you can imagine it is heart-wrenching duty. As soon as the vehicle pulls in front of the house and men in service dress step out, the family knows exactly why you're there and intense emotions of grief begin.

After putting away my uniform I tried to return to what I was doing before the phone call this morning--I found this impossible. It will be good to go to the Lord's house in a couple of hours and hear his word of grace. How stark is the difference between the good news I will deliver during worship today and the bad news that I was to deliver to that poor family! But isn't this the message of the Bible? We are dead in our sins, cut off from our Father; but there is new, eternal life for all who repent and trust in Jesus. May this family and all of us know and be thankful for the comforting words of God.

Happy Birthday, Love!

This picture was taken in Jan '09, but it could double for her college sorority photo from back when we first met. Kristin is one of those rare, lucky ones that time largely leaves alone. Happy birthday, dear, I love you.

The real membership test

Are we a church or are we a club? As I think of the scope of needs that are facing our little church and consider others that could be around the next corner, Piper addresses a significant question:


HT: Z

Raising the third brother

Parents fall into different traps along the way of raising their children. Sometimes they are too worldly and their children reflect that. Other times they see that trap, but they overreact, and instead of worldliness their children develop a joyless self-righteousness. I've fallen into both these traps, some for long periods of time, and value advice on steering clear of both.

Marvin Olasky, in a really good WORLD column, offers a clear alternative. Picking up on Tim Keller's book The Prodigal God, he calls for raising the third brother. We all know the wrecked life of the first brother in our Lord's tale of the prodigal son. And a few spot the more subtle glimpse of his older brother, who is externally "righteous" but internally full of dead men's bones. Elder brothers lack love, charity, compassion, and a sense that all of us are in this mess together.

What's rare, Olasky points out, are third brothers who know deeply that the Father loves them and have patience and love for both the elder and younger brothers.

Third brothers ask pointed questions, and here are ones for each of us to answer: Am I a younger, elder, or third brother? Can we, through God's grace in our parenting, avoid raising elder- and younger-brothers?

Life in our home

"It's kind of like living with a telemarketer."

- Isaiah's parents after a ride in the van

Avoiding the Big-D

There was a U-Haul truck in a neighbor's driveway yesterday, not a strange sight for an on-base neighborhood. But gossip travels fast in military housing and we're told that the neighbors are not moving away, just away from each other.

Divorce is frightening. I think because most of the time you don't see it coming until it's too late. By the time you realize that you're heading for--in the words of a recent country song--"the big-D (and I don't mean Dallas)", hearts have been hardened, bitterness has taken root, and salvaging the relationship is unlikely.

I pray that God will use even this event to turn my neighbors' hearts toward Him. This "near-miss" also soberly reminds me that the same can happen in any house on this block--including mine. I must remember my vows and ask God to strengthen me to keep them while I guard against the enemy of our marriage that lives within me (my own sinful nature).

Good examples of marriages are so helpful. Take this one for instance. I can't help but be impressed at how he studies and serves his wife. Look at these two questions he uses to love his wife comprehensively and let them challenge you.

Do you know how to surprise and delight your spouse in specific ways in each of these areas?

clothing sizes, styles, and stores
jewelry
health
exercise
books and magazines
movies
the arts
sports
food
music
entertainment
places to visit
intellectual interests
hobbies
vacations/getaways
and, of course, sex

Do you know how your spouse is faring in each of these areas?

theological knowledge
practice of the spiritual disciplines
growth in godliness
spiritual gifts that can be used to serve others
involvement in the local church
relationships with children
relationships with parents
relationships with in-laws
relationships with friends
personal retreats
fears
hopes
dreams
disappointments
temptations

Let's take our marriage relationships seriously and thus avoid the big-D.

Isaiah wows his football coach

Basketball season is over and football practices have begun. In Isaiah's league they have a brief devotional at the end of each practice. Tonight his coach asked the group of mostly 6-year olds, "What is God?". I guess he wasn't expecting anyone to shoot back with the answer to the 4th question of the Westminster Shorter Catechism*. The coach was stunned by Isaiah's barrage of words and had him repeat them, to which he said rather dumbstruck, "that's a really good answer."


*The catechism's answer to the question, "What is God?", is:
God is a Spirit, infinite, eternal, and unchangeable in his being, wisdom, power, holiness, justice, goodness, and truth.

Hudson River Plane Landing

This pilot's action captured in this video reminds me of a good desciption of manhood: reject passivity, accept responsibility, lead courageously! (from Raising a Modern Day Knight)

HT: Challies

Zeke's security blanket

One of Zeke's first two-word combos has been "chap stick", which comes out sounding like app' ick. He treats chap stick like a prized blankie, carrying it around the house most of the time, wanting to have it when he's in the crib, and after a nap, etc. It's quite unusual.

Sickness has this advantage

that it draws our sweet Physician's hand and his holy and soft fingers to touch our withered and leper skin: it is a blessed fever that fetches Christ to the bedside -- I think my Lord's, "How doest thou with it, sick child?" is worth all my pained nights.

Sure I am, it is better to be sick, providing Christ come to the bedside and draw the curtains, and say, "Courage, I am thy salvation," than to enjoy health and never need to be visited of God.

Friends, I bless you for your prayers; add to them praises.


Adapted from Samuel Rutherford's The Loveliness of Christ after a brief illness

A taste of death?

I've been praying for those in our church that have been laid low with a nasty stomach bug that is going around. Grace came down with it Sunday and Isaiah got it last night. I was in bed with it all yesterday myself.

It's been a while since I've felt that miserable. Since I had just taught a little on death in Sunday School (Christian and Hopeful crossing the River in Pilgrim's Progress), I couldn't help thinking about death as the hours crept by painfully slow. I wasn't up to reading for much of the day, but I found comfort in muttering through the Psalms I've memorized in the past and in praying for God's mercy on my wife, children, and friends who are dealing with this, too. Again I'm reminded of the benefit of Scripture memory and that you have to put the "key in your bosom" (my last Pilgrim's Progress analogy) before you need it.

Talking heads

Zeke: Trips to the commissary (the base grocery store) with the young children are usually difficult, but yesterday it was a little humorous. Zeke had a song in his head that he couldn't contain and so sang (the 4 words of it he knows, over and over, at the very top of his lungs) for much of the time. It was kinda like a one-man mariachi band rolling down the aisles. Several strangers took time to comment.

Faith's contrarian ways continue unabated. She pitched a fit in the commissary in order to pressure Kristin to buy a box of Dora cereal. That was last week. Every morning when we offer it to her, she screams and sometimes even runs out of the room! On a bright note, she may have a promising future as a drill sergeant. Twice recently when Zeke is down for a nap, she has come to Kristin and sternly said, "You should get on the treadmill!"

Isaiah continues to pad his lead in the daily word count department. Kristin noticed last night that he began talking to her while he was in the car, even before she got in! The monologue continued all the way to practice and back without intermission. Having a talker in the family is a hoot! Is this a birth-order thing--is the third child usually the talkative one?

Since Grace and Eli sometimes read these posts, I won't embarass them...here.

Grace and Faith meet Elinor and Marianne

In keeping our Valentine tradition, Grace and Faith chose a movie based on a Jane Austen novel to watch this weekend. They selected Sense and Sensibility (1995). I don't think Grace understood most of the dialogue, but she stayed with the movie's basic plot.

Remember this scene (near the end)? It had to be challenging to get it just right, but we think they did.

Three cheers for Phil, the man on the street

I'd love to know how he does it! Phil stands outside one of the Planned Parenthood offices in town and somehow re-directs women planning to enter there to Care Net instead. The ladies that volunteer at Care Net call him their "man on the street". Last night, Kristin met one of the ladies that Phil sent over. She was abortion minded but once the ultrasound showed her baby boy blinking and responding to tickles, how could she? Besides the ultrasound, she received a lot of good information on better options than abortion.

BTW, Care Net's Open House will be Sunday, February 15th, 1:00-4:00 p.m.; come and see the remodeled NE ABQ center.

From Race-centered to Grace-centered

Even though ABC undoubtedly edited out explicit references to the gospel, the lesson is clear. Here's a Southern white man (from my home state) that when pressed with the thought of eternal judgement came to terms with his role in the oppression of blacks and was radically transformed.



HT: Z

A name for our home

Some people, usually the wealthy ones, name their homes. Those that do this usually pick some feature of their home or life that is unique to their setting and use that as the name for their estate. When we lived in Georgia we knew a man and his wife that had a mansion on a large lot, I can't remember what they called their place but it was something like the Cedar Cottage.

Last night after battling strong-willed children from the moment I got home until the last one was in bed, the namesake for our little place came to me. We live at Fort Defiance.

A picture of Julius and me

I finished my first book by Alexander Whyte yesterday. It was said, "no ruler has held his subjects more captive than Alexander Whyte did from his pulpit." He was obviously a man of great imagination and an expert at painting word pictures.

In the final chapter of The Characters in Pilgrim's Progress, Whyte gives us a picture of a character that I am all too familiar with: "Julius, who goes regularly to prayers, and there confesses himself to be a miserable sinner who has no health in him, and yet that same Julius can not bear to be informed of any imperfection or suspected to be wanting in any kind or degree of virtue."

This evening I read a note that was only a tad bit critical of something related to me. My first reaction proves that, Julius, I'm pictured with you.

It was said of Mr. Whyte, "every sermon in Free St. George was a volcano and every opening prayer a revelation." Thank you Father for giving us Mr. Whyte, what a help he is to me!

Personally-conducted tours to Heaven

We're two-thirds of the way through Bunyan's Pilgrim's Progress in Sunday school. But that's just Part I. Hopefully some day in the future we can journey with Christiana through Part II, which many think is even better (I'm convinced). Mr. Spurgeon looked to Part II for the call upon his life:

"I am occupied in my small way, as Mr. Great-heart was employed in Bunyan's day. I do not compare myself with that champion, but I am in the same line of business. I am engaged in personally-conducted tours to Heaven; and I have with me, at the present time, dear Old Father Honest: I am glad he is still alive and active. And there is Christiana, and there are her children. It is my business, as best I can, to kill dragons, and cut off giants' heads, and lead on the timid and trembling. I am often afraid of losing some of the weaklings. I have the heart-ache for them; but, by God's grace, and your kind and generous help in looking after one another, I hope we shall all travel safely to the river's edge. Oh, how many have I had to part with there! I have stood on the brink, and I have heard them singing in the midst of the stream, and I have almost seen the shining ones lead them up the hill, and through the gates, into the Celestial City."

ABQ people: can you meet for dinner?

Next Tuesday Garduno's on Montgomery is supporting a fundraiser for Care Net Pregnancy Centers of Albuquerque. We'd love to have dinner with you. If you can join us let us know by Monday (and print out the coupon).

There's also an open house at CareNet's North East location on Sunday, February 15th, 1:00-4:00 p.m. I'm all the more eager to support this ministry after reading this story carried by the DRUDGE REPORT.

Time Zones

Transitions: from the beer fridge to the milk fridge, from the sports car to the van, from carefree to responsibility, from fresh-faced to bald-head, from death to life, from grace to grace.

P.S. That's a picture of how much milk we go through in a week.
P.P.S. According to blogger, this is post #1,000; who would have thought I'd still be doing this?

Men at work

Men, young men especially, would do well to consider whether in their careers they are seeking excellence or greatness. Excellence is godly (ref Col 3:23) and it is within a man's control. Whatever you do, do it heartily as unto the Lord.

Seeking greatness, on the other hand, is usually an ambitious quest for significance, reputation and importance. Besides being things not fully in a man's control, they also involve self-exaltation. And if a man fully gives into these desires he may find his life in ruins.

Men, we must heed the wisdom of Solomon here (the Proverbs and the Preacher) lest we learn the hard way.

Face shot

Isaiah finally lost the front tooth that had been grotesquely dangling from his mouth for weeks. He had refused all offers of help in pulling it until Eli suggested he shoot it out with his powerful Nerf gun (they shoot darts made of, uh, nerf). Isaiah's eager acceptance of this offer shows how twisted he really is. Eli retrieved his firearm and leveled it at point blank range. Isaiah smiled broadly, and the tooth was soon dispatched. The only trouble is we can't find it!

P.S. The parents were not privy to any of this idea until after the deed was done.